Past and Present

Intro.

Finally done with your medical residency; you're finally on your way back to the place you call one of your home.

Monaco

Last time you were here was the saddest day for you; you left everything in a snap. Your family. Your two childhood best friends. Your comfort zone. Your now ex-boyfriend.

You had to choose between playing it safe by leaving and hiding or to risk everything just because of one simple hiccup.

You look at the five year old kid sleeping peacefully next to you; you never called her a mistake because you always had a choice. To keep her or to practice your right of choosing to terminate the pregnancy. And boy oh boy, you decided to be brave enough to keep her and raise her on your own. You braved the surgical internship in a foreign land while pregnant; you may have had occasional visits from your two best friends and somehow they tried their best to help you when they can.

But you know that help isn't always there. They're both Formula 1 Drivers and they travel the world most of the time to race at circuits. Much like the father of your child.

You can't help but feel a little at ease and worried at the same time to fly back home. At ease because nothing beats the comfort of finally being back home and worried for the five year old that's with you.

How are you going to tell the father? Do you even plan to tell the father? Your child's five years old now, you managed to raise her to be loving, caring, and to be gentle. Traits that her father possess as well. How will the father take the news about his kid? Is he going to accept her? Or turn her away and break your child's heart?

You close your eyes, wanting to catch some sleep so you won't feel super jet lag but your mind says otherwise. So you decided to open your laptop and start reading on some news to help your mind steer off from all the worrying thoughts. You scroll through Twitter mindlessly when one tweet catches your attention; a tweet about Formula 1 and how the season is going so far, you froze when you saw his picture attached to the article; you sighed and just closed your eyes again completely veering off social media.

It's been five years since you abruptly decided to take a surgical residency program in the United States instead. Five years passed since you ran away from your home, your comfort zone, your whole life, and the love of your life.

One thing you're looking forward to as well is finally seeing one of your best friends after a year. He was not able to visit you the past year because of some personal circumstances. Circumstances you can't wait to talk about with him. He's been constant in your life. Which is why it had been evident to your mood when he was not able to visit you last year like he always does. It upsets you but at the same time you are excited to see him again. To hug him. And to finally hear his laughs again.

For some reason, not seeing your best friend pains you more when you left your ex boyfriend. And you don't know why.