The Doctor Will See You Now

Crossed Wires

He stood at the door and took a deep breath. He knew that this,  quite possibly, could be the most important conversation he would ever have with her. One that would change both their lives.

He would see later that he really should have rehearsed it.

The doorbell rang, and he waited. And waited. Looking at his watch, he frowned. He was on time. 11am. Where was she? He was sure she would be waiting for him.

He rang again.  Nothing.

He was about to leave, maybe try to call her when the door opened. Her face, her beautiful tear stained face appeared.

"Hello darling? Are you ok? I didn't think you were here." He looked at her, surprised to see a flicker of shock on her pale face.

"You came. I waited and waited, and when you didn't come, I thought..." she looked like she was on the verge of  tears again. 

"But I'm on time - 11 am, remember?" He was completely confused.

"But Tom, it's gone noon!"

"What?.....oh. my. God. They went forward last night, didn't they? " it suddenly struck him like a freight train.  The clocks had gone forward - that twice yearly pantomime - and he'd forgotten.

His phone didn't have the clock on the front "like normal people," as his sister maintained. He wore a 'proper' watch. All in all, a complete fuck up.

"Oh my poor kitten. Did you think...? Oh Pip!" He reached out and hugged her tightly.

"You'd better come in then." She said quietly once he'd released her. "If we're going for coffee, I'd better wash my face." She gave a watery smile, and he tipped her chin up with his index finger.

"Ok. And since I am responsible for upsetting you, we will go for lunch, not coffee and I will pay."

Ordinarily, she would have objected, insisted on paying her half, but not today. Not that she was hell bent on getting a free lunch, of course.  Neither was she remotely angry with him, but she just wanted him to want to be with her. And if him 'looking out' for her was the price, then so be it.

As they walked into her hall, he caught her hand and pulled her back.

"Pip?"

"Yes, Tom?" She turned and looked up at him.

"I AM sorry - you do know I'd never hurt you for the world? I never set out to make such a mess of things." He looked at her and prayed she'd understand. He was just a silly fool.

"It's ok, I'll always be here for you. No matter how foolish you get." She smiled softly, and his heart lurched.  Maybe they stood a chance. "Now, you wait in there..." she indicated the small living room. "I'll be five minutes."

He nodded and walked in, sitting gingerly down on the sofa. So far, so good.

He'd no sooner sat back when he did his next foolish thing.

He answered his phone when it rang. It was April.

"Hi beautiful. How are you? Yes, sorry, I'm out and about. Me? Having lunch with... an old friend... no, no, you don't know them. No, not her... of course I'd rather do that but you know how it is. Tonight? Well, actually, that would be perfect... yes, 7.30. Ok, darling. You too, sweetheart, you too." He hung up.  Good. He could come clean. Tell her that face to face they weren't on the same page. Let her down gently.  So he could do the right thing by Pip.

A noise to his left made him look up. That very same Pip was standing in the doorway.  He did a further foolish thing. He didn't confess all, there and then.

"April?" Was all she said. She'd heard the conversation. It was a very small flat after all.

"Yes." He couldn't look at her. Something told him he shouldn't have answered his phone. "I err, I'm having dinner with her tonight."

"I heard. It's a small flat. If you'd rather not go now. I seem to have been the cause of you lying to your... April..." she struggled to find the right words. Suddenly, with his denial of her, she'd realised her mistake.

Tom stood and walked over to her. Foolish action number three engaged. "No, please, I need to talk to you. I need your advice.  You were so good the last time. I promise, if all goes well, and I don't fuck it up, this will be the last time." He hoped his face reflected the pleading in his heart.

She looked at him for a minute, considering things. Not for the first time, she thought better friends than nothing.

"Ok. If the one thing you need me for is advice, then I'd better make sure it's my best quality, eh?" She grabbed her coat and her bag. "Come on. Crying makes me hungry as you well know!" She smiled a small, half smile.

She understood, and he told himself. She'd got the gist.

She didn't, and she hadn't.

"So, now you've plied me with food and drink; apologised a hundred times for being a muppet who needs to get with the 21st century, and generally been your usual infuriatingly charming self, what sage advice do you need?"  Her acting skills rivalled that of any West End star.

He took a long swallow of his wine, more to give him time to think than anything. All through lunch, the churning in his stomach told him something wasn't right. He hoped it was just his lack of preparation.

"Well, the thing is. I seem to have made a bit of a mess of my love life, yet again." He toyed with his knife, tapping it absentmindedly in his fingers. Ruth grabbed his hand and made him put it down.  The feeling of her fingers on him was electric.

"Tom. Stop. Concentrate." She scolded gently with a smile. "It's ok, I'm listening."

He sighed and looked at her, yet again reminded how he didn't deserve her.

"Ok. So. The thing is, is. " he paused."I seem to have two women that I've misled." He tried to be cryptic, not give too much detail, not provide too much pressure.

"You have? And you HAVE?" she was confused, but still hopeful.

"Yes. One woman is, I think, the best thing ever to have happened to me, and I can't lose her.  The other is beautiful and funny and a joy to be with, but I just don't want to be romantically involved. Both, I hope, see me as a genuinely nice man. Im not, as my sister said when I tried to explain, playing them. I don't want my cake and eat it. I just don't know how to tell them. I got carried away in a moment and now? How do I tell one I really mean it and the other I thought I did but...?" He looked across the table and, for the first time, realised just how scared he was.

Scared that she would leave, scared she wouldn't understand his meaning.

Ruth's heart sank. It was obvious what he was trying to say. She had to make this easy for him.

"Ok." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "If they both are dear to you - and it sounds like they are - you need to do this sooner than later. You owe it to everyone involved, even yourself.  As to what to say, be honest. Tell them you care, tell them exactly what you told me. You can do no more chivalrous thing than respect them enough to be - kindly - honest. And for God's sake, Tom, have an idea what you're going to say before you start? Good looks will only get you so far, Mr!"

She smiled and laughed, reaching over to squeeze his hand. A sense of calm returned to her soul. In all this, she had been the one he'd turned to. She now understood. He would always need his littlest sister.

His Pip.

Tom looked at her. It was going to be ok.   He would make this right. He would get through this. He would win over the woman he now understood to be his love.

His Pip.

If only he'd done it there and then.

But there was plenty of time, right? He could talk to April tonight. Now, he knew Ruth understood what he had to do. It appeared that there was no rush. Tonight, he intended to do right by both women.

The road to hell, though, is paved with good intentions.