The Doctor Will See You Now

Regret

"So what you're telling me is you actually do fancy her, and you want to take things to another level, but just not yet?"

She couldn't look at him. She couldn't let him see how she was dying inside. If she'd had ANY doubt about how much she felt for him, this had crystallised it for her.

"Yeah, I knew you'd understand." He reached out and grabbed a final slice of pizza. "I knew you were the one to give me an honest opinion."

Honest? The answer she was about to give him was as far away from being based on honesty as it was possible to be. Her only consolation was that in giving it, she could still be his friend.

"Well." She paused and sipped her coffee, putting the mug down and curling back against his side. She still couldn't look at him. "Well, you have to be honest. No matter what, don't let your wires get crossed. She mustn't think you don't like her as much as you obviously do." Her stomach churned, and she struggled to maintain her composure. "Just tell her that you want to go slow, go under the radar, keep it just a low-key thing for now."

"You know something?" He squeezed her tightly."I have no idea what I do without you? How do I survive?"

She smiled down at her lap, the tears almost overwhelming her. "I have NO idea!" With that, they tumbled silently down her cheeks. Without missing a beat - or turning round - she scurried to the door. "Loo break!" She called and made her escape.

Dashing down the hall, such as it was, she locked herself in the loo. Leaning against the door, she let the emotion overwhelm her. After a few minutes, there was a gentle tap at the door.

"You ok, Pip?"

She sniffed and wiped her eyes, trying not to make them any redder than they already were.

"Yup, fine, just coming!"

She flushed the loo, took a breath, and walked back out. Tom was just walking into the kitchen. "Another coffee?"

"No, thanks all the same. I better get home. Get some sleep. I know we're not filming tomorrow, but I'm heading in to do some prep for next week. It is going to be challenging, this breakdown of society. Especially painting you in grey emulsion every day!

She smiled. No matter what, she still had the joy of working with him every day. More than a million other fans did. She knew she was still lucky. And if April made him as happy as he made her, then who was she to deny him?

"Aww, ok." He sounded genuinely sad, and she almost relented. Almost.

"Sorry, maybe another time? You could always tell me how you get on?"

"It's a date!" He walked over, smiling again. Taking her jacket, he held it out, and she slipped her arms in as Tom slid it around her shoulders. As his hands smoothed down the collar, again, his fingers brushed her skin.

Electrified, she gasped before she could suppress it. She prayed Tom hadn't heard her. He had.

"You ok?" He turned her to face him. "What's up?"

"Oh, just cold hands!" She lied quickly. "You know what they say, though. Cold hands warm heart!" She smiled up at him. He looked down at her, that same strangely disconcerting feeling rising again.

"Well, your hands must be subzero, darling." He said softly, gazing at her. "Because you have the warmest heart of anyone I know." He was barely whispering now.

"Oh Tom'" she said softly, "You are very special, you know that? You deserve far better than me."

"Is there?"