The Heir of a Thousand Lifetimes (A PJO Universe Story)

You're lucky you're pretty, you know that?

If I were with anyone else, the silence would be suffocating. But with Cassius, it's alright. He's someone who I can sit in silence with and feel comfortable. I don't feel the need to fill every gap with mindless words.

Instead, I can be perfectly content to simply lay on his chest as I close my eyes and let the back of my eyelids fill with visions of days gone by, flashes of wars I fought in lives I don't remember, glimpses of lost loves and crowns I can't recall wearing, rushed glances of the cities and empires I burned and conquered in other bodies. The ache in my bones as I see the scenes feels as familiar as a second skin, an itch so deep under the surface of my flesh that I can't quite scratch it. But it's there all the same, and I recognize it for what it is.

I know this is mine, all of it, and I know these histories belong in my hands. Maybe someday I will know them for what they are. But for now, it will have to be enough that I know to claim them. Demigods don't often have that privilege, to know what they see is real. But I know all too well that it is real. The golden threads of my fate have been so deeply interwoven throughout the millennia that I cannot quite make sense of them, crossing over lifetimes just for everything to lead to me. It sometimes feels like I'm playing with fire when I pluck at the strings, my fate just an instrument I'm strumming for my own amusement.

But I have to be careful, or as careful as I can. My fate is intertwined with Cassius'. We are one and the same. We have been destined to live every life together, and I'm afraid of what will happen if I let Achilles' arrogance get the best of me. Will Cassius pay the price for my pride, just like Patroclus did? Will he die for my name, for my sake, for my reputation, following in the cursed footsteps of his ancestor, of the man whose spirit inhabits his body?

I cannot allow it. I will learn from Achilles' mistakes. He was the best of the Greeks and the strongest of men, but Patroclus brought him to his knees. He was not without weakness. And neither am I.

"Audra?" Cas asks softly, catching my attention. I open my eyes and look up at him.

"Hm?" I ask, blinking once, then twice to clear my mind. He brushes my hair back.

"What's bothering you?" he asks. I frown. How the hell did he know? "Sweetheart, did you forget who my mom is? Feeling people's emotions is kind of my thing."

It's kind of creepy how he can practically read my thoughts sometimes. Whatever. Soulmate things, I guess.

Patroclus could do the same. I never understood it, Achilles reminisces wistfully in my head.

"Right," I reply quietly. I play with the hem of his shirt, thinking. How do I want to say this? Should I even tell him? No, that's a stupid question. Of course I have to tell him. I can't keep any secrets from him. "Well, I guess I'm just thinking about you."

He raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Me? What about me?"

I shrug. He cups my cheek to prompt me to look up at him, and the concern on his face is pretty heartbreaking.

"It isn't awful, don't worry," I reassure him. "I just- I guess, I was thinking about Achilles, since he's decided to make a reappearance in my head, and that got me thinking about Patroclus. And I was having quick little visions just now, kind of. And I don't know, I guess I was thinking how I have to be careful on this quest.

"I mean, yeah, you do too, of course, but I really do. Because our fates are intertwined. Achilles got Patroclus killed, and I have to make sure nothing I do results in you dying or doing something that will lead to you dying for me." His face softens at the end of my explanation.

Cassius is speechless for a moment. I know he knew I have been burdened by the weight of my bloodline and my destiny, but I don't know if he knew until now just how much. But I feel better after expressing myself.

"Hey," he says, pressing his forehead to mine. "It's going to be okay, yeah? Nothing's going to happen to me. This is our second chance, remember?"

A sinking feeling settles in the pit of my stomach, but I try to ignore it. I nod.

"Yeah," I whisper. Looking into his eyes- eyes I know I have gazed upon for lifetimes- is comforting. It calms my racing heart and brings me peace. "We just...we have to be careful. Promise you will be? And you won't do anything stupid?"

He laughs, nodding. "I promise." He kisses me softly. "So, you don't want me wearing your armor to intimidate our enemies and inspire the Greeks?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "No." The very thought of him in Patroclus' position sends a jolt of nausea through me, and it doesn't sit well. Thunder rumbles lowly in the distance- a warning that I didn't mean to send but subconsciously triggered with the wave of emotion nonetheless.

He kisses me again. "I'm just joking, honey. No Trojan War 2.0, okay?"

I roll my eyes and pull him closer. "I'm holding you to that. And if we somehow find Hector roaming around when we get to Turkey, you are not allowed anywhere near him. I'll kill him, again."

Cassius laughs. "I have no doubts that you will."

•••••

It's hard to enjoy the campfire when I know I only have one more left before the quest. Still, for Cassius' sake, I try. He has his arm around me, keeping me close to him as we sit on the outskirts and watch everyone else. Apollo leads terrible renditions of 1960s acid rock songs that he somehow decides is a good idea to play on his acoustic guitar. His voice is angelic, don't get me wrong, but the songs he decides to play are just awful.

"I really hope he doesn't play these on the trip," I whisper to Cas, who snickers. "I have a playlist, you know. It's all ready to go. It's really good, too."

"Is it all Taylor Swift, or do you actually have variety in it?" Cas teases me, and I gasp, affronted.

"Taylor Swift is variety," I say defensively. "She is an experience, Cassius. So many genres, so little time. My quest, my playlist."

"Oh my gods," he groans.

"You think I'm endearing, admit it," I brag, and he rolls his eyes.

"Of course I do." He kisses the top of my head. "You're the cutest little soulmate I could ever ask for."

I huff. "We've been over this. I am not cute. I am a weapon of war."

Achilles snorts in my head, which I find mildly offensive.

"Hey, if you think this is funny, that's on you," I retort. "You chose me." Achilles shuts up. "Yeah, that's what I thought." To Cassius, who's barely restraining his laughter, "Weapon. Of. War."

"Darling, you're adorable," Cassius says very seriously. He boops my nose, and I give him a piercing glare. "An adorable weapon of war?"

"Do you want me to smite you?"

He barks out a laugh. "What happened to not wanting me to get hurt?"

I glare harder, if possible. "I changed mind." He laughs harder. I shake my head. "You're lucky you're pretty, you know that?"

"I actually do," he says thoughtfully. "I've thought about it before. It's come in handy." He smirks. "Especially right now, when my beautiful soulmate thinks I'm too handsome to smite."

"For now," I mumble under my breath. He narrows his eyes.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing."

He rolls his eyes and pulls me in for a kiss. "Come here, you." I hum into the kiss, letting him draw me closer. "You're going to have to stop arguing with me about this. You just get cuter the angrier you get."

"I'll find something else to argue with you about," I shoot back, smirking. He grins.

"I would be concerned if you didn't."