My boy / Drew Starkey

24

Drew

I got in the car angry, which was not a smart idea because I pulled out of the parking spot unbearably fast. I could smell the burnt rubber from my wheels.

I knew they were hooking up. I mean, it was evident from the party to the posts, but I didn't want to see it happen. His hands were all over her, her soft moan.

I hadn't even noticed my foot was on the gas, not lifting from it. I looked down, and I was driving too fast for this type of road. What the fuck is up with me and cars recently.

I collect my thoughts and ease on the gas. I knew I needed to prepare myself to talk to Kiara once I got home, but I could take my mind off of Mila.

I pulled into my driveway and parked the car before taking a deep breath and exiting it.

The elevator rides up to the top floor where my apartment was, felt painfully slow.

I took my apartment keys out, and a whiff of cupcakes hit my nose. Was she baking?

"I'm home," I say, my voice breaking. I was more nervous than I thought. "In the kitchen," she replies, and guilt instantly runs all over me.

The guilt from leaving and lying to her about where I was going, the guilt from hooking up with that waitress, the guilt from thinking about someone else while fucking her, the guilt from thinking about Mila right now

I put my car keys and house keys in the bowl that was on the table next to the front door and made my way towards her. She was cleaning up the counter from, I could only assume, baking.

She gives me a painfully sad look as I approach her. My mind scrambled, not knowing what to say. "Hi," she says softly, forcing a smile. "Hi," I say back, debating if I hug her or not.

The sad look in her eyes makes me cave, and I wrap my arms around her. She hesitated before wrapping her arms around my waist and snuggling her head in my chest.

fuck

"I am so sorry" was the only thing I could say; she stayed silent. "I genuinely am Kiara. I don't know why I did that." Partly a lie.

"I should have just told you I was going out with Jonathan to go bar; I should have answered your calls and text; I was just too drunk," lies.

"I think we need to talk about us," my voice soft; this sentence made her speak up.

She pulled away from me, now looking up at me with teary eyes. "No," she says. No?

I looked at her, confused, wanting her to continue before I spoke.

"No, I don't want to because I know what you will say. You don't think I see how you look at her?" she says, taking a deep breath. The way I look at her?

"You don't think I've noticed how much you've changed since she came into your life? I know that if we spoke about us or what is left of us, you would tell me we weren't getting back together," her voice breaking and tears streaming down her face.

I want to hold her, wipe away the tears, and tell her it's untrue. I want to say I still love her, and we can go back to how we were before the incident, before we broke up, before the rumors, and most importantly, before Mila.

"Kiara, that is not true," I keep my voice soft. Lies lies lies

"Drew, don't lie to me more." She wiped the tears away with her sweatshirt.

"I'm not lying to you." I reach over and grab her hand. Lies lies lies

"You are my world," she says as she accepts my hand and squeezes it tightly.