Warnings - suicidal thoughts, cussing, anger, self doubt, self hate
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We went back to Sam and Emily's place and sat down grabbing some muffins that Emily had made. The conversation wasn't peeking my interest very much as I ate my muffin.
"We need to talk about patrols now that we have two new members" Sam said
"And considering your not going to school just yet or you" Sam added pointing to me and Embry
"Yeah yeah, no school for us" I said
Paul smacked me lightly underneath the table causing me to playfully growl at him.
"Back to what I was going to say, Paul you'll pair up with Trinity and Jared with Embry then we will switch off depending on hours and days so that your all familiar with one another in wolf form" Sam said
"Are you sure Paul and trinity will get anything done" Jared said with a smirk
"What's that supposed to mean?" I growled
"I mean your both of you are hotheaded and" Jared began
"Jared shut up" Sam warned
"No let him finish" I growled
Paul was calmer than usual and both him and Matteo held me in place.
"I mean you can't keep your hands off each other either so how will anything get done" Jared said softly fear in his eyes
"Like you and Kim don't fuck every chance you have" I scoffed
"At least I don't have two mates" Jared said then his hand shot to cover his mouth
I stood up and tried to grab him form across the table but he jumped back. I growled and ran around the table chancing after him anger filled me. When we got outside I growled my body shaking with rage and frustration.
"Jared what did you do" Kim said rushing up to them
"Kim stay back" Jared shouted
She looked at me with fear in her eyes as she stepped away from us both.
"Your mate is an idiot Kim" I growled
"You have two mates it's weird as hell" Jared said
"Jared" Kim shouted
"I have two mates because I'm a hybrid you fucking idiot" I snapped
"Jared don't say anything" Kim pleaded worried for her imprinter
Jared went to say something causing my wolf to snap and I phased out of rage. He phased right back and we began attacking one another. Rolling through the forest with the others chasing after us but I wasn't going to quit.
"I shouldn't have said it I'm sorry" he said
"You don't get to say sorry after what you said" I growled
"I know it's hard for you after everything" he said
"After what Jared, my friends died and I live with a scar as a fucking reminder that I was a dumb teenager" I snapped while pinning him to the ground
"I didn't mean it like that" he whined
"How else could you have meant it huh" I growled
"It's just not normal trinity I'm not used to it" he said and tackled me back
"Well neither am I so call me a freak all you want because that's all I'll ever be right" I snapped and kicked him off me
"I didn't mean that" he said
"Sure you didn't, all you focus on is the basics in life, everything has to fit into one puzzle but look around Jared I'm screwed with two mates who didn't get to chose who they wanted, he'll Paul didn't want a imprint to begin with, Matteo probably only followed me because he felt he had to, I don't deserve them I know I don't, so you don't have to rub it in my face that I'm a freak of nature and don't deserve two loving mates okay" I growled and then ran off before he could say anything else
I ignored the shouting and my name being called as I whimpered and ran through the trees. I found myself outside at the edge of the tree line near Leah's house. She was outside sitting on the porch on her phone laughing and it hurt. It hurt because I listened to the conversation she was having with someone. She was too laughing at me for having multiple people in a relationship. No one understood causing me to howl in pain and sadness. I ran home phased back and rushed into my room. I wanted to leave I wanted to disappear but nothing would do any good. I didn't want to do anything stupid but I felt as though I wanted to die.
I felt as though I didn't deserve to live and be loved by two wonderful people. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt anger rush through me as I gripped the sink. It began to crack under the pressure I was putting onto it. I grabbed a bottle of pills and looked at them helplessly and wondering. Wondering what would it do, would I heal to quickly for them to work and kill me. Would bleeding out do anything as I'd heal as well but then I remembered a spell that I read in mom's grimoire. It was a spell to cause endless bleeding and pain, but the pain wouldn't matter it was the bleeding I was thinking about. Would Matteo be able to reverse it in time I quickly placed a hand on my chest. I muttered the spell and locked the door quickly muttering another spell to keep it locked. I got into the shower as the blood seeped through my body and I whimpered in pain.
I felt myself slipping in and out of consciousness as the blood pooled around me. In a moment of time I felt peace for once in my life I felt happy or peaceful. I was dying and that's all it took for me to feel peace it was sad to say. But as I began to pass out my door was kicked in and Paul and Matteo rushed inside with the others outside the door. I heard an ambulance siren coming around the corner and their lips were moving but I heard nothing. Matteo pulled out his wand to try and counter the spell I had cast on myself, but it wasn't doing much. I had already lost so much blood all I remember was whispering goodbye as I let the darkness consume me.
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Authors note -
If you feel depressed or any such in this position please find someone you trust to talk to. Get the proper help you need and don't worry there is always someone out there willing to help just ask for it.
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She was the Human
FanfictionShe fell in love with the one she wasn't supposed to fall for.
