"Of all the things to do for team bonding," you grumbled, rubbing your eyes tiredly as the rest of the Gunners chatted excitedly. "Mini golf? And at 10 in the mornin'? I hate ye' all."
Lauryn smiled, pulling your head to lie on her shoulder while Kim talked to the person at the counter. "Let's go sit down, you can sleep on me. I'll wake you up when Kim's finished babblin'."
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"Y/N, love, our skipper's finished her long-winded speech," your girlfriend whispered, gently shaking you awake as you laughed softly. "Let's go kick everybody's asses."
You yawned, stretching upwards before following your teammates out and onto the course. "I could care less, but I'll do me best. Just for you."
Kyra gagged. "Get a room."
"Shut yer' single arse up!"
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"Katie, why are you twerkin'?" you stated, arms crossed. "It's s'possed to be a shimmy."
The Irish captain glared at you. "Fook' off ye' idio— oh, shit."
You yelped in surprise a stray golf ball suddenly slammed into your nose, blood almost immediately seeping out from within the nasal cavity. "What the flyin' fish—"
"Jordan!" Viv scolded, running over amd immediately pressing someone's hoodie onto your probably broken nose. "We knew you sucked at golf, but did you have to hit Y/N in the face?"
The Midfielder cringed as the white cotton began turning crimson. "I didn't mean for it to bounce off a tree!"
Despite the searing pain smack in the middle of your face, you couldn't help but chuckle. "This better 'ave been recorded. I want this posted."
Lauryn scowled as she handed Viv another random hoodie. "You just broke your nose, and you want the whole world to see it?"
"It was funny," you protested, leaning forwards so as not to get any blood on your own shirt. "And I didn't break my nose, Jordan did."
"Shut the fook' up and let us get ye' to the car ye' gobshite!"
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"Broken nose," the doctor confirmed. "It should heal fully in about 3 weeks."
You cocked your head to the side pointedly. "I told ye' idiots Mini-golf was a bad idea!"
"You suggested we go to a shooting range last time, I'm pretty sure Mini-golfing is way safer," Lotte scoffed. "We've just gotta keep Jordan away next time."
"That's different," you argued, hopping down from the examination table. "At the shootin' range, I knew what I was doin'. The instructors knew what they were doin'. We didn't 'ave any instructors today, and some people clearly don't know how to golf."
Jordan's flushed face turned even redder. "I said I was sorry!"
"I'm just messin' with ye', calm down. Now, Lessi... when are ye' gonna post that clip?"
"DON'T!"
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"Caitlin?" You side-eyed the Aussie suspiciously. "Why is there a picture of me sleepin' on Lauryn that's number one in trending on Twitter?"
She froze. "I— I dunno— why?"
"Real smooth, Cait," Steph snorted. "Totally believable."
You pulled your infamous Nerf glock from its holster at your side. "I thought you knew better."
"WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT!" Caitlin panicked, shaking her head wildly. "I can explain!"
"Please do."
"You two were reeeeeeaaaaaally cute and I had to take a picture."
"We are pretty cute together," Lauryn nodded, kissing the top of your head gently. "I can't blame her."
"No," you agreed. "I can't either."
The Forward sighed in relief. "See? There's a good explanation for— OW GODDAMNIT WHY?"
"I just felt like it."
"BRO—"
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"'Eyyyyy, Crotch's 'ere," you cheered as your oldest sister joined the group call. "Another person to yell at both me and Jordan."
"You idiot!" She huffed. "Care to tell me why I opened Twitter only to see my sister getting brained with a golf ball as number two on trending right after a very adorable picture of you and Lauryn?"
"It's not me fault that the team decided to go Mini-golfin'," you shrugged. "It's only a broken nose."
Christen shook her head in disapproval. "Only a broken nose."
"A broken nose is like a paper cut to Y/N," Sam cut in, the Tower of Power sporting the exact same knowing look as Kristie. "Y/N's had more injuries than anyone could count."
"Yeah, like when she thought it would be a good idea to wrestle a baby black bear in middle school," Kristie snickered as your USWNT teammates' eyes widened. "She's got the scars to prove it."
Your hand subconsciously drifted towards the left side of your stomach. "That stupid little shite scratched me."
Alex took a shaky breath. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
"I know, that fookin' bitch was so petty it makes me sick too."
Lynn sighed. "Oh my god, we're teammates with a psycho."
"It took you this long to figure that out? I'm concerned."
"Shut up!"
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I'm only on the fourth chapter and I'm running out of ideas god frickin damn it
Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!
