Trees (an omori fic)

My mom is fucked

Still shaking, I press a gentle kiss to his the sleeve of his sweater covering his strong arms, soft and warm, just like him. 

He runs his hand through my black hair, and says, so softly, so gently, "Are you feeling better?"

I nod.

His eyes gaze into me, and instantly, he reminds me of a puppy, lost and hurt, clinging to his new found owner?

His owner.

What the fuck.

I clamp a hand over my mouth, a laugh escaping my mouth at the thought.

He tilts his head, looking even more like a puppy. "What is it, Sunny?"

I just shake my head, storing away the thought for a later date.

"Well, uh... it's almost dinner time, isn't it?" He says, pushing his fluffy blond hair behind his ear, looking awkward and the slightest bit uncomfortable, unsure of what to do.

I nod, and we go to the kitchen. It's an expensive looking tile, stove, fridge, everything. It smells good, the heat of the oven comforting, the smell of familiar spices. A woman leaning over the stove.

Oh fuck.

Dad's soon to be wife.

Ai.

Soon to be Ai Suzuki.

She turns around to look at me, and smiles. "Sunny! It's so nice to finally meet my son!" 

Her voice is sweet. I won't deny that. I won't pretend she's out to get me, to steal my dad's money. Her voice is sweet.

And I fucking hate her.

I look up at her, my eyes glaring into her's.

It's a glare that says that I will never be her son.

She seems to understand. Her smile falls a bit, and she nods, though I've said nothing. 

I step closer to Basil.

She retreats back to her stove.

Away from me.

Basil and I sit down at the table.

"What was that about?" He asks.

His tone is interesting. Not harsh, though I've rejected the woman who wants to be my mom, the woman who is marrying my dad. Curious. Interested. Perhaps a bit ashamed, if only on my behalf.

I look down, and pull out my phone, and type what I need to say.

"I hate her." The robotic voice of the phone says for me.

"Why, Sunny? I know you hate her. Why is what I'm asking." He says, trying to unearth secrets I don't even know.

So all I can do is shrug. I don't know why I hate her. Maybe it's because she's not my real mom. Maybe it's because I can't accept my parents divorce. Maybe it's because it seems my father moved on so fast. Not just from mom. 

But divorcing mom was like him trying to run away from Mari, and her death. Mari's death was my fault. He's trying to run away from me. To his shiny new wife, with dark eyes and smile lines. 

But if that's why I hate her, than I should hate mom. Moving to California. 

And fuck, while we're at it, I should also hate myself for running away. I'm still sad. I found comfort in Nik though. Comfort in him and his ability to make me forget. Make me forget I killed my sister, my sister I loved and adored, who was perfect inside and out, and then strung her up like a fucking decoration of shame with my friend, my handsome friend sitting beside me at this expensive dinner table.

Such a sin.

Not the cliché sin that I hate myself for being gay, internalized homophobia or some shit like that. I've ridden that boat before, but this is not what I'm talking about.

Not fetishized love. 

That's not why I wish I was dead.

But because I killed my goddamn sister.

(587 words)

(Title from Alligator Skin Boots by McCafferty)

a/n - i cant rmeeber what day it is i think its may and im watching heaters and i <3 lilly she cute and i cannot for the life of me i ithisnk i smay sbut isdk :3