Trees (an omori fic)

Butterflies that live inside my stomach gotta die

I nod. 

"It's crazy, getting the friend group all together again, after this long. We'll have to get Hero here at some point to, won't we." I type.

"Too bad the friend group will never fully get back together." Basil says sadly, his eyes down cast, looking hollow.

Every time I'm happy it gets ruined. 

It's not Basil's fault for bringing it up, he's just stating the truth, but it still hurts, because by default, getting reminded of my dead sister, and the fact that it's my fault she's dead hurts. It's terrible and my stomach is churning and I'm getting nauseous, but my friends are beside me, and I have already cried far, far too many times, in front of them, and honestly, just in general.

So I'll hold back tears, bite my tongue, smile, because it's been four years since my sister died at my hands, and four years doesn't seem like that long, but really, it is. I should be over it by now, I shouldn't be sad, or at the very least, I shouldn't break down in tears every time Mari's name is mentioned. Especially not in front of my friends. I've caused them so much pain already as a result of me being an emotional little bitch. They've seen my tears. I don't need to cry again.

So I don't. I don't cry. 

And Kel starts smiling and Basil looks up, and I realize, that for once, I've done something right. 

"Damn... I need to get home soon." Kel says with a sad shrug. 

"We'll walk you home." Suggests Basil, to which I nod along.

We walk out of the pizza place, and then to Kel's house. As we walk down the street, I grab onto Basil's hand, and he doesn't even glance at me, but he grabs my hand back, and gives it a gentle squeeze. Kel doesn't notice. 

When we arrive at Kel's house, Basil says, "Bye!" and hugs him tightly. I follow suit, minus the speaking part. 

Afterwards, we go back to the park, and wait for Ai to pick Basil and I up. While we wait, we find a cool place in the shade under trees, away from the couple of kids playing on the playground. 

"You have pretty eyes." Basil starts softly, "I wish they looked at me more often."

Oh fuck.

Is it my fault that I look at Kel? I'm not even really dating Basil. But at the same time, I'd feel betrayed too.

"He's really... well, pretty isn't the word to describe him, is it?" Basil says.

"You're pretty." I type.

He blushes, and then says in a whisper, "You like Kel."

My pale face flushes red, but even so, I nod.

"He's hot, isn't he? Long hair, tan, those muscles, how goofy and sweet and loving he is no matter what."

I nod again. 

"I don't know what we're doing here. We're two broken boys fooling around. But I love you and you love me, at least I think you love me, so please, Sunny, don't leave me for Kel. Please."

I place my hand on his, and look up and smile at him. He makes direct eye contact with me, his beautiful eyes pouring right into mine. 

(528 words)

(Title from F. M. I. D. by Pigeon Pit)

also btw spotify playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7Mop1lHwcgsOiNzmS6iC0z all the songs from the titles in order