~ He knows... ~

Saved.

TW
(Also if this is really bad and if it doesnt actually portray the reality of being SAed, im sorry ive never written anything like this before, so as of right now im trying my best and im not going to be good. But if you have tips just dm me!)

(Couple days after staying at the sturniolos)

Solstices pov

I woke up this morning and I felt disgusting in my skin, the bedsheets were dirty and the blankets were trapping my legs. I hadnt fully processed what happened with connor yet, so I guess this is the aftermath of connor. I grabbed my phone and tapped messages.

Lover boy
Lover boy - matt
Biggest hater⁉️ - solstice

Biggest hater⁉️
Im skipping today

Lover boy
K, just text me if you need/want anything
Seen

Irl
I set my phone back down and just laid flat on my back, staring at the ceiling. It took me a couple minutes to convince myself to get up and take a shower. I tried getting up, but I couldnt bring myself to get out of bed. It only made me feel worse, I already felt disgusting, my skin felt uncomfortable, my hair was itchy, nothing felt right. I just lied in bed and kept overthinking about what connor did to me, and what couldve happened if matt didnt see me, or what I couldve done to stop him. I just kept replaying those moment. It brought me physical pain just thinking about what he did, fuck I felt like throwing up. I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom, I pulled my hair back and lifted up the toilet seat and hunched over it.

When I finished throwing up, I decided to look in the mirror. I looked horrible, my hair was a disaster, my eyes were sunken, I just looked disgusting. Ive never hated myself more, I brushed my teeth and ran back to my bed. I finally reached my bed and just sobbed, I cried and cried for hours, my stomach hurt and I couldn't breathe. I couldnt breathe, I had stopped breathing. I grabbed my phone and dialed nicks number, it rang three times before he answered.

"Solstice?"
"Nick," I inhaled sharply and continued crying.
"Solstice whats wrong?"
"Can you please come over?" I kept crying and sniffling.
"Yes, ill get matt to drive me. Do you want him to stay or just me?" He asked, I could hear shuffling from his side of the phone.
"Just you." I whispered.
"Ill be over in ten. Dont call anyone else, and most importantly, solstice dont hurt yourself." He said, worried coated his tone.
"Ok," I hung up and continued crying. I just wanted to feel fucking normal. I didnt like this feeling, like I needed out of this place, I didnt feel right. Nothing felt right. My heart started racing and my breathing stopped.

Nick knocked on my door and came in. I could see the worry on his face, the devastation in his eyes. He closed the door behind him and walked towards me, "I fucking, connor- he-" nick stopped me, "solstice, stop." He got in my bed and hugged me, I felt warmth in his hugs, they were always so comforting, it made me feel like I wasnt judged and I'd never be judged, or I could always run to him when I needed someone or just a hug. He wiped my tears and kissed my head, "solstice what happened?" He whispered in my ear whilst rubbing my ear. I took a couple deep breaths and started explaining to him, "connor SAed me," "he hit me, and choked me, and he was kissing me, I remember his hand traveling up my shirt." I sobbed into his shirt, I could feel his heart, and his steady breath, "oh sweetie.." he whispered, hugging me tighter. I kept crying and crying, the never ending tears just kept coming and coming.

Nick slept over, he comforted me the whole night, It certainly did make me feel better, but I was just as disgusting as before. When nick had to go it only made it worse, he said I could borrow trevor if I needed, he vocalized "borrowed" Because he knew damn well I'd steal him.

I havent been on my phone for a while now, and since matt was going to pick me up tomorrow I had to tell him id be skipping for a while.

Lover boy
Lover boy - matt
Biggest hater ⁉️ - solstice

Biggest hater ⁉️
Im gonna skip school for the next few days. I'll text you when i wont be skipping.

Lover boy
Take your time sweetheart.
Hearted by Biggest hater⁉️

Irl

Matt knew what was going on so he didnt question nor did he seem bothered. I set my phone back down and texted my mum.

Mummy
Mummy - solstices mum
Bitch who got me pregnant - solstice

Bitch who got me pregnant
Im gonna skip school for the next fee days. I hope thats okay, im just feeling down.

Mummy
Yes thats fine. If you need anything just ask, okay?

Bitch who got me pregnant
Okay

Irl
I set my phone down and just laid there, again. In silence and the same clothes as yesterday, the same everything as yesterday. I kept replaying the moments in my head, his hand traveling up my shirt and how close it got to my breast. If matt wasnt there, who knows what couldve happened. Theres so many things that couldve happened. Matt saved me from those things, he did, he saved me. Theres nothing I couldve been more grateful for. At some point while I was thinking I fell asleep.

A/n. I hope you liked this chapter, cause I hate it. Its super short and it bothers me, I didnt know what to write, how to describe how much pain solstice is going through, I dont know how to describe what shes feeling or how disgusted she feels. I just dont know.

1000 words.