Old Maid

Chapter 13

When we started at the university I honestly did not expect Toba to be there too. he was supposed to go abroad to study. We even talked about how stressful the long distance would be. We even considered breaking up. It was for this reason Toba and I had not talked properly in weeks.

It was a month through the first semester of 100 Level when he showed up at Uni, as soon as I spotted Toba standing by a black car in front of my hostel, my heart leapt with joy. It took me a few moments to process the fact that he was there in front of me, and I broke into tears. I had been so worried and stressed about his absence, and the relief of seeing him was overwhelming.

Initially, I was confused about why Toba was at the university since he was supposed to be studying abroad. When I asked him about it, he apologized for making me worry and explained that he didn't want to get my hopes up until everything was confirmed. I appreciated his honesty, but I couldn't help feeling angry and hurt that he didn't communicate with me during this time.

Toba quickly realized the impact of his actions and apologized again. We had a long conversation that day, and we both agreed to communicate more openly and honestly with each other moving forward. While the experience was stressful and difficult, it ultimately brought us closer together.

Fast forward to 300 Level, He wouldn't speak to me again. I even picked fights with him intentionally but Toba would just not open up to me. Then one day, he came to see me, and he seemed like his normal self again. I did not want him to get triggered and leave again so I stopped myself from bringing up his behaviour from these past few days. I remember he stayed till very late that night almost like he did not want to leave me. Just as He was about to leave, he told me he was going home for a few days and that I might not be able to reach him for a while.

Three weeks passed and I did not hear from him. His phone was also unreachable and the WhatsApp messages were left unread. I was so worried I fell ill. It was then I got a call from Tunrayo's mum she wanted to meet me. I didn't think much of it because Mummy was Mummy After all. She is someone who we have all been close to since we were kids. I also thought I could hear some news about Toba if I met her; so despite being sick, I went to meet her at her office.

"Tobi, are you well? You look tired," she asked.

"I am fine ma I simply caught a little cold," I replied.

"So I called you about Toba." Mummy continued. "I know the two of you have been together for a while now but let's face it. It's high time both of you dropped this child's play. Do you want to be responsible for ruining his future?" she said her tone immediately becoming harsh.

My head was hung low the entire time. His mum then asked me to call him in her presence and end things. I didn't want to at first but I succumbed eventually. I pushed him into the plane myself. She also asked that I never contact or speak to him again.

"Even if you called him you will not be able to reach him," she said as I left her office.

Foolish me I thought I was on break-up withdrawal. I did not pay attention to myself and kept consuming pain relief drugs for my stomach ache. Thank God for Mum's unexpected visit. I was soon taken to the hospital where the Doctor broke the news of my pregnancy.

My mum was devastated, and I was worse. I wasn't just pregnant, I was pregnant and alone. I couldn't tell my parents who the father was now; especially not when he is miles away and I have no way of reaching him.

"And what am I a statue? you know you could have said something to me right?" Tunrayo interrupted looking livid"

"I don't know what's worse Mum's behaviour or the fact that you had to deal with all that by yourself" she continued.

"I am sorry Tunrayo I wasn't in a good place back then and there was never a good time to bring it up after. Tobi replied.

"So what happened with the baby?" Gbemi asked returning everyone's attention to the story.

Mom thought it would be a good idea for me to be confined at home for the duration of the pregnancy. Since I had refused to tell them who the father was, they were utterly disappointed in me but they couldn't act on their anger as I had depression.

On my sixth month, the Doctors confirmed that there were some complications with the baby and it might not survive. I prayed a lot and was hopeful for the baby. At eight months even the Doctors were convinced that their doubts about the baby's survival had been cleared which is why it was even sadder when I came to after delivery and I was informed that my baby died shortly after her birth. I didn't even get to name her. Tobi said tears streaming down her eyes. I spent more time mourning her loss than I did carrying her in my stomach. She was my child, proof Toba and I once loved each other and she did not even stand a chance.