Because Of You

Chapter 31

Carmen followed Hange for the rest of the night, learning more about the titans than she ever thought were possible. What she once thought were monsters were actually people. She saw it in the drawing Connie showed her and the sketch of a trapped titan in Ragako village - the similarity was undeniable, especially for an assassin who never forgot a face.

"So, this whole time..." Hange trailed off, not wanting to accept the truth. Carmen imagined the rest of the scouts would react similarly, however had a sneaking suspicion that Erwin would enjoy the development.

"We've been killing humans." Carmen finished the section commanders sentence, already having a human kill count higher than her titans. Truthfully, she didn't know how to take the information. On the one hand, she felt a sense of familiarity - comfort, in a way - but the most prominent feeling was uncertainty, in the sense that she didn't want to feel the familiarity. She wanted to be angry at herself, but was never taught how to do so.

"Well, at least now we know." Moblit tried to reason, but Carmen failed to see the use of knowing something so useless. When it came down to it, human or not, if it tried to kill her or those close to her, she would strike it down.

"What good does that do?" Carmen questioned, voicing her thoughts. "They're still our enemy, they've killed thousands of our people and there isn't an ounce of humanity left in them. Those things may have been human in the past, but there's nothing left anymore."  She stated while Connie sat beside her in utter silence. It must have been difficult for him to hear everyone's opinion of titans while his mother was now painfully one of them. Unfortunately, Carmen had far more serious things to worry about.

"Is it possible to change them back." He asked through tear filled eyes, trying to contain the water that threatened to seep out.

The group remained silent, the only noise was the horse dragging their cart closer to the hospital Erwin was stationed at. Not even the hopeful Hange or Moblit could muster up the right response for Connie, not only did they have no idea what the future held, but they also knew that their top priority was reclaiming Wall Maria - science could wait.

It was in times like these when Carmen felt truly grateful to have had a blessing like Petra, she knew how to empathise, to treat people exactly how they wanted to be treated. She had a natural charm and a kind heart, Carmen knew why someone as cagey as herself managed to trust her so easily.

"Time can only tell." The assassin replied, Hange eyed her curiously as though trying to understand her character, which was swaying every now and again. "Maybe, one day we'll be able to figure out a way of doing so. After all, there's been more advancements recently than ever before."

"You really think so?" Connie looked at her with hopeful eyes.

"I know so." Carmen confirmed, it was a white lie that she hoped would eventually come true for Connie's sake.

After the conversation, the cart seemed as though it picked up speed and they managed to reach the hospital Levi informed them of previously. If Erwin was awake, then he'd surely know of her deal and their new agreement, it was refreshing to know she had allies who wouldn't stab her in the back at every opportunity.

"When we enter the hospital, you need to be mindful of Erwin's state." Hange warned. Caren only caught a quick glimpse of his injury, but all would be well as long as the doctors did their jobs correctly. "He lost a lot of blood, I'm assuming that he's not going to be himself until he's well rested. So, no sudden movements, don't bombard him with information , and don't dislocate any of your limbs - I'm looking at you Carmen." Hange joked as they pushed through the doors dramatically, revealing a large corridor of wounded soldiers.