20 | I'll Break, And I'll Break, And I'll Break Until SOMEBODY Sees Me

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It's time for Izuku's "MC Sad Boy Hours™" treatment.

It's time for Izuku's "MC Sad Boy Hours™" treatment

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. . .

     There were no words to describe it.

     This ache. This pain.

     Deku sat with a blank expression, zoning out of the world around him. It was oddly cheerful out there. Smiles shared all around as Nezuko did Ochako's hair, and the men told tales of the past once more. Nezuko even claimed the girl as her own daughter after some time! Heh, shocked the teen, but she eventually went along with it. The demons rejoiced as a new member was added to the family.

     But none of it reached him. Not at all.

     Blood. On his gloves. His shoes. Clothes. He hadn't the opportunity to scrub any of it off yet. So it became a part of his costume. Part of him.

     Now.... Now he knew why heroes were never encouraged to kill. It was something so simple. Yet kids like Bakugo used to tease the concept. "Why can't they just kill the villains?!" The kids would say. "They would be saving many more lives that way! And the villains wouldn't have any chances to escape if they were dead!" One could argue it was so that the villains could reform; and live a better life. But then.. "Well, what about the really evil ones!? Those villains would never change! At least let the heroes kill those guys!" Even if it were true...

     It was the way of the hero not to kill, not because it would be less appealing to an audience; less "heroic" of them... But because seeing that much blood on a daily basis. To anyone- it-- rewires their brain. Chips away at the soul.

     Heroes don't kill villains...to save themselves.

     ...By the time Deku figured this out, it was already too late for him...

     The faces of the villains he'd captured lingered in his brain. Deku knew at least some of them were now dead because of him.

     The memories of those Nomu. The half consumed corpses lying all around them. Even the Nomu themselves; tortured and enslaved corpses.

     The occasional villain he was forced to kill. Too strong and uncooperative to be taken in safely. Too weak to last as Deku got serious.

     The screams... The screams of the people as they saw him drenched with blood.

     The Nameless Vigilante. A man Deku heard about; an imposing source for good.. laying there dead. ... He could have gone on to save many more lives, but, instead... He tried to help.

     His friends. Covered in blood on the battlefield. The battlefield of a war that was supposed to be his alone to fight! All Might.. Gran Torino... Iida... Shoto..... Bakugo.

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