just follow the cat

Part 4 - How to Explore the World

Friday, November 12

You might think that exploring the world is as simple as stepping outside and walking around. Or alternatively, driving, riding, swimming, sailing, or flying through it. But there are other ways to explore. Like imagining what the world might be like, traveling to that imagined destination, and then thoroughly enjoying all that the imagined world has to offer.

For some people, traveling in this manner is much more enjoyable and far less likely to lead to disappointment. For those whose imaginations are limited to things and places that they have previously seen, touched, smelled, or broken into little pieces, this might seem like a foolish thought. As foolish as those Greek philosophers who argued about how many teeth should be in a horse's mouth. (The answer to their question is and always has been "just enough teeth to chew its food".) But Cassandra Lailoni Antone never had a chance to travel outside the charms of Baltimore City. Even with her newfound wealth, her dreams of exploring the world seldom went beyond the 4 walls and 2 windows that surrounded her. Simply put, she was happier to create dreams about the outside world.

And so, on her second day in Room 208 when another hot pink card came under the door, Cassandra didn't walk around the corner and thank the person who sent the message. Instead, she sat on the floor in her room with the two pink cards in front of her and said, "It looks like I have a friend."

The second message read, "I hope you're settling in. What is your cat's name? I see extra toes when the paws come under the door. You have a very special cat. AS, 902"

Well!

That is interesting. Very interesting, in fact. Because the door AS was talking about wasn't the front door. 208 was apparently slipping her paws under one of those in-between doors. You know the kind. They're the doors that connect two side-by-side rooms in a motel. While the front door of a room is there to give you a sense of security, the in-between door says something about your notion of privacy. If you leave the in-between door unlocked, it conveys a degree of intimacy. It says, "There's nothing to worry about on this side." However, if the door is locked, it sends a very different kind of message. It says, "No one should ever enter my room." But a second unspoken message is also true. The people who triple-check the in-between doors to be certain that they are locked also secretly wish that the door would open in the other direction so they could peek inside. And maybe even walk around for a while, open the drawers, and examine all the objects left on the tops of tables and dressers. That's just human nature, you know. At least for most people it is, but Cassandra Lailoni Antone was different. She was content to imagine what life was like in Room 902. Never once did she think about opening the door that connected the two worlds. Besides, one glance around Room 208 was enough to reveal that her room was a wonderful place to live. And she was equally certain that Room 902 was wonderful, too. It was just a different kind of wonderful. Cassandra refused to be unhappy.

That afternoon, Cassandra went out and bought a package of spring-green 3 by 5 index cards. She also bought a cigarette lighter and a can of honey-roasted peanuts. Though she didn't smoke and wasn't hungry, these were luxuries that she could seldom afford before becoming rich. As she stood in the checkout line, she had a strange feeling of being out of place or (to be more accurate) being in a place where she hadn't been before. It was the moment that the clerk handed her the change for her small purchase that she realized what it was. This was the feeling you have when you disappear into a new world. It's just that disappearing had never seemed possible before. Whenever Cassandra looked in a mirror, she saw eyes that some people said were too dark, hair that was too short, lips that were too thick, and clothes that were ordinary (or even worse). But as the quarter, dime, and five nickels rattled in her hand, she understood what had just happened. She was no longer Cassandra Under the Bridge. Now, she was just like everyone else in line. And she couldn't have been happier.

When she got back to the motel, she ripped open the package of spring-green 3 by 5 index cards and started to write a response. At first the words flowed. She wrote, "Thank you for welcoming me and my cat." But then nothing. She couldn't think of what to say next mostly because she wanted to explain how different she felt standing in line at the store. But that feeling was indescribable or at least it was indescribable on a 3 by 5 index card. Over and over, Cassandra composed different combinations of words in her head. But then, when she held her pen above the spring-green index card, her hand shrunk away like she was dialing the phone number of an old lover or a new lover or a hoped-for lover. She'd dial every digit but then she'd stop when she got to the last one.

In a whisper, she said, "What if it doesn't make sense?"

So finally, she decided that answering AS's question was the best option. She would answer his question and nothing more. Well, she might add a little more detail. A little but not a lot. Just a phrase or two, but that would be it. After all, this was her new friend and she didn't want to disappoint the person behind the in-between door. When Cassandra was finished, she laid the spring-green 3 by 5 card in front of the in-between door and let The Cat Named 208 push it the rest of the way.

From start to finish, her card read, "Thank you for welcoming me and my cat. Her name is 208. I don't really know if she's a boy cat or a girl cat, but I call her she because she's so tiny. She is all black except for two beautiful orange eyes. Even her whiskers are black. She also has lots of extra toes, so that means she can count up higher than any cat I've ever known. I bet your cat has a beautiful name, too. CLA, 208."

It took Cassandra an hour to write 81 words.

x = y = x