Purple Prey: The Case of the Filthy Baboon

Chapter 12: Avian Legacy

"We have to get out of here!" I cried, as we walked through the quickly crumbling reality. I pointed ahead of us where some of the ceiling had caved in, revealing a possible way out. The debris had fallen in a way to create a staircase right to our salvation. Despite how lucky this was, it was SURELY a terrible, terrible sign of just how fucking broken time and space was. We Last Boss'd over to the staircase before dropping fully to our hands and feet so that we could clamber up the steps. On the surface of the prison moon, it was complete chaos. Even more than before. Disgraceful place, wouldn't recommend to anyone.

We had found ourselves in the garden once more where we could only watch as both prisoners and guards alike ran around in a panic. It was pandemonium. We stood in the temporary safety of the garden as the buildings surrounding began to explode and implode simultaneously. I turned to my friends in a slight daze. What had we done to this place?

"We need to leave right now," Elly said sternly. I glanced up at the glass dome that was starting to crack. That would probably be bad I reckon. We turned to the one building that remained: the one that led down to the prison moon's garage. From there we could find a ship that would allow us to escape this place once and for all. We'd have to move fast though, lest the roof collapse onto our vulnerable noggins. We darted into the building and then bolted down the seemingly never-ending staircase that should lead us to the garage. But half an hour into our bolting and we still hadn't reached our destination. And then we did, slowly... then all at once. We found a locked iron door. We stared at the door in shock. How were we supposed to get past this?

Suddenly Venus spoke up: "Um, Cosmic, do you still have that key that Bionic Arcadia gave you?"

Cosmic reached his whole forearm into the chest pocket of his overalls. After rummaging for a while he pulled out the keys, novelty keychain attached.

"Yes, I still have that key that Bionic Arcadia gave me." He stared at us and we stared back at him. A few seconds passed of this before Cosmic finally realised what we wanted to do and unlocked the door for us all. The key was a perfect fit, I let out a sigh of satisfaction. We hurried in to find a row of Mad Maxxed out golf carts, some old space cars from way back in the day of 2022, A BMW 523S, and just past the cars were the spaceships. THOSE were our way off this decaying moon. We raced to the nearest spaceship and waved our hands at it, triggering the motion-activated doors.

The inside of the spaceship was pretty basic but it would have to do. Elly, Venus and I all ran towards the captain's chair at once. I managed to make it there first (as only the true leader would) and was faced with a horrifying realisation: we hadn't found out where the spaceship keys were kept!

"Shit!" I exclaimed, slamming my fists on the steering wheel, activating the A.I. companion.

"Hello Captain, I am AmFrederik. I am the A.I. companion of this ship. Where are the keys? You haven't put them in yet." Spoke the robotic voice of AmFrederik from the ship's speakers.

I groaned, these things are so annoying. "AmFrederik, deactivate." i commanded.

"I'm sorry captain, I cannot do that. Please insert the keys," Said AmFredrick in a friendly fake voice. I growled in anger.

"I haven't got the time for this, AmFrederik," I said in my most Captain-y voice, "Just fucking deactivate!"

"Wait," Venus spoke up, shoving me away, "AmFrederik, can you tell us where the keys are?"

"No." Was all AmFrederik said in response.

Venus sighed. "Whatever," he muttered, before pushing me further out of the way to flip down the mirror above the front window. It was then that I realised just how deeply Moorish Zealous' words had cut him. He was so damaged and insecure about his facial hair that he had to look at himself in the shitty spaceship mirrors, the least-flattering type of mirror out there. But that's when I realised!