Purple Prey: The Case of the Filthy Baboon

Chapter 10: Outrun the Oath

I turned my head away from Avian dramatically. When I looked back, I saw that Avian's expression hadn't changed.

"Yeah, that checks out." she said. She glanced at Venus who stood ignorantly near the entrance of Catehut before looking back to me. I saw her stifle another laugh and tears came to my eyes. I let out a short scream of rage and hoped that Venus hadn't heard it.

"Oh my god be quiet," she rolled her eyes and guided me into an alleyway. I stood there timidly while she paced in thought.

"Look, this is too funny. So I'm going to help you," She said, finally ceasing her relentless pacing. "Only if you want me to though." I narrowed my eyes at her.

"This is no laughing matter, Avian," I said, "but yes. Please help me get with Venus Crypt. We were made for each other and I know it."

Avian failed to stifle her laugh but I couldn't react because she was already producing a large rotary phone from her pocket and handing it to me.

"Take this. You can contact me with this," she said very generously. I thanked her through way of sign language (I'm by no means fluent, but I manage).

"Now, pretend we never had this conversation." she smiled and held a hand out for me to shake and seal our oath, which I assumed was an invitation for the secret handshake I forgot was exclusive knowledge to me and Elysium. I ended the handshake by jumping onto Avian Dust's shoulders and we became the tallest totem I had ever been a part of. I was near euphoric about seeing the world at this high an angle, but Avian, in shock, reacted by throwing me to the ground like a pro-wrestler. After this Total K.O, she left the alley.

I came to after God knows how long and left the alley. In front of Catehut, I found my gang and Cougar's council still standing there. Avian was talking with Cougar, Bionic was talking with Cosmic and Venus was standing away from the group, emotionally ransacked from being ignored. Cosmic spotted me in my groggy state and beckoned me over to join him and (Bio)nic in conversation. I didn't think I was allowed to return to Avian just yet and I wasn't emotionally stable enough to be abandoned like Venus at this moment, so I complied. They seemed to be having a good time and if I wasn't so out of it, I might've been happy for them.

Nic was laughing at Cosmic's apparent wit and Cosmic seemed very proud of himself indeed.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Bionic!" Comic grinned. He gave Bionic another performative bow, taking off his straw hat in the process and Bionic recoiled.

"Oh, I forgot that you're a ranga!" She facepalmed. Cosmic went into shock and quietly put his straw hat back on. Bionic seemed to regret that comment but instead of apologising or anything, she just started talking about something unrelated. Cosmic remained in stunned silence for a few minutes but eventually, he began chatting again. I understood her disappointment, but I couldn't understand her resilience to continue.

"Cosmic, Bionic," I said, trying to casually join the conversation. "What on earth are you talking about."

"Nothing much..." Cosmic said, still seeming stunned and self-conscious. I smiled, talking about nothing much was my specialty. I put a hand on one of both Cosmic and Bionic's shoulders, making sure I tried my hardest to crush Cosmic's bone (he didn't seem to notice), and began to tell them a story.

"So you see, in OUR home dimension," I storytold them wisely, "Things are a little different than they are here. That is why I want to get back so badly." Cosmic nodded in understanding and began to tear up.

"I would like to return to our dimension also." he said. "It's been years since I last saw my family, I miss them." I snorted. I didn't think Cosmic had a family. I mean, he did mention them to me before but that was when I was pretending to be 50Cent so I couldn't trust anything anyone said.