Purple Prey: The Case of the Filthy Baboon

Chapter 4: The Mannequin in the Creek

We bobbed to the surface of the water. We were now in a decently sized puddle, right beside a creek. I lifted Elysium up and out of the puddle, which could fit about 2 people, before climbing out and releasing Cosmic who was trapped underneath me. Once he was on land again, Cosmic took off his straw hat and wrung it out like a sponge (I didn't think a straw hat would hold water like that, but Cosmic's apparently did). He then placed it back atop his carrot-coloured hair.

"Is this the place?" I asked skeptically, looking around the creek wondering what here could possibly help the frosty Elysium Forging who was now lying on the creek bed.

"Oh yes," Began Cosmic, who was still covered in his signature garden dirt despite all the water travelling "This should be it." He was pointing behind me and as I turned I saw a large tree. There was what looked to be a large, purple apple dangling from its lowest branch (which was still way out of my reach). As I was about to complain about my inability to climb, I heard a voice behind us.

"Hey, you kids," I whipped around to see a person laying in the creek, propping themselves up on a rock to look at us. It wasn't until i wandered closer that i realised that the creek person was completely fucking naked. I averted my eyes, so as not to seem rude. The creek person noticed, and began to chortle at my expense.

"What's your deal, man!? Who the fuck are you!?" I yelled, blushing angrily in rage.

"My name is Venus Crypt, and I don't know what you people are doing climbing out of puddles?? But I'm a merman." Venus Crypt said airily, flicking his long auburn hair back.

"YOU HAVE LEGS!!!" i screamed accusingly, pointing at his human legs "In what way could you POSSIBLY be a merman?!?!?!"

"In the ways that matter, baby <3." he said smoothly and casually, but with an air of slight annoyance as he looked me up and down. I was much more annoyed than he ever could be, but I decided not to press the matter any further. I turned to Cosmic with an air of slight rage and demanded he fix Elly NOW so that we could leave this incorrect merman as soon as possible. I knelt down beside the icy Elly and clenched my fist in silent determination as I vowed in my heart to thaw her.

I stood straight back up and followed Cosmic over to the tree.

"We need an apple from here, it will heal Elysium." Cosmic explained calmly, but I was not calm. There was no way I could reach the apple (definitely no way Cosmic could) and there were no lower branches that I could climb on.

I turned to Venus, the so-called "merman".

"So, Mr. Merman" i said mockingly, hands on my hips "Do you want to use any magical Merman powers to help us out here >:("

"Ah, not technically" he said and I let out a condescending laugh. Stupid fucking merman. Pathetic. But then Venus stood up, out of the water, putting his 6ft tall body on FULL display with ZERO warning, but by god, he was beautiful....

I grimaced. Objectively, Venus was ethereal. I was not. Coming in at a measly 5'10, I suddenly felt like a mole rat who wasn't handsome at all besides Venus who must've been what Leonardo Da Vinci had in mind when creating the Vitruvian man. Although I found his personality insufferable. Why do good things happen to subjectively bad people >:(

You must be wondering what Venus looks like. I lost my words as I gazed upon his silky, wavy auburn hair that reached down to his snatched, delicate waist. The sunlight hit his hair, making it look like pure bronze, and I had to hold back a gasp. As I stood, dumbfounded, he looked down at me with deep, sensual brown upturned eyes that fit his face all too perfectly as his steely gaze examined my expression. I felt I must've looked like a FOOL, but I couldn't look away. I will never take the colour brown for granted ever again. He smiled at me in amusement and I felt my eyes begin to water. Behind his voluptuous red lips, he had such perfectly white teeth, I could see my own inadequacies reflected back at me. He had a strong Grecian nose with a strong bridge, and yet, it was simultaneously so delicate and it complimented every feature on his clear, light skin. He had what I always imagined the perfect ear to look like ... and he had two of them. I clenched my fists and my teeth, tensing every muscle, telling my self not to fall head over heels for this Greek statue of a man, except, even a perfectly designed marble statue could not be as supernaturally gorgeous as this stupid fucking creek (mer)man. The veins on my neck were close to bursting. I was THAT tense. He had an almost feminine chin and a jawline so sharp and strong, he could cut me into pieces if he wanted to. And to my horror, I think I would let him. I suddenly understood how Adam felt in God's garden of Eden, because when my eyes fell on this man's perfect neck, I wanted so badly to partake of the forbidden fruit. And then there were his shoulders ... they were so broad and very muscular (but not too muscular). This was a man who lived his life in fruitless vegetation, in decadence, despite inhabiting a creek. He wasn't a bodybuilder by any means, because of this lifestyle, however, his muscles were still toned and he appeared fit as all fuck. Not to sound like a fucking freak, but objectively, even his feet where attractive. He was too beautiful to even be real. He looked like something you'd use to model clothes in a store. I wouldn't even dare to enter that store because it would feel misleading since I'm sure he would look godlike in any clothing, IF he wore any. Even the thought fills me with so much self doubt I could die right here.