Purple Prey: The Case of the Filthy Baboon

Chapter 3: Drown the Mirage

I fell back from the bank of the lake in shock. I let out an audible gasp that attracted the attention of Elysium and Cosmic, who came rushing to my side. Elysium began to help me sit up, wondering what was wrong, and I pointed a shaky finger to the water, unable to form the words to describe what I had just seen. Cosmic cautiously walked over to the lake and, in an exact imitation of me, fell back with a gasp. Now I was worried, since I had assumed he'd been here before since he took us here so confidently, but seeing him scared must mean it's bad news!!

"Sorry," he started, standing back up "that gets me everytime" he laughed awkwardly. Oh.

Next, Elly walked towards the lake. However, she did not fall backward with a gasp, which honestly would have been more appropriate. Instead, she fell forward and into the lake. SHIT! MY LIFELONG FRIEND ELYSIUM FORGING!! I pushed Cosmic Tomorrow off me and scrambled to the water's edge. As terrified as I was that this 'water' could be saliva, I decided to dive in and save my lifelong friend Elysium Forging. But as I got into a professional diver's position, I caught my reflection, which now showed the image of Elly. She wasn't ugly or anything but it was still extremely off-putting.

When I finally overcame my discomfort and dove in, I was met with a horrific sight. There was Elly. Behind her was a ghostly figure, holding my lifelong friend up like a puppet.

"You dick-face!! Let her go!!" I spoke clearly, despite being fully submerged in the thick, thick water. I'd trained for a situation like this.

The dick-face in question did not let Elly go, but merely hissed at me. You know me, I hate violence, but I launched myself at the figure to grab it's neck with both hands, and miraculously, despite it looking like nothing more than an apparition, my hands did in fact grab it. So I tried to choke it out, but nothing happened. Next, I tried to punch it, but it hurt my hand more than it hurt the spectre. This frustrated me, since things like this usually worked out for me, but now I was running out of oxygen and I really didn't want the salivary water in my mouth. So, I did the only thing I could think of: I grabbed Elly by the hand and swam strongly to the surface of the saliva pool. As I swam, I looked behind me, only to see the spirit-like thing still holding onto Elly, which didn't seem ideal.

The three of us managed to make it back to shore. I then tackled the spirit back into the lake, leaving Cosmic to resuscitate Elly. Before I crashed back into the lake, I heard Cosmic yell out "YOU!" In an accusatory tone, as if he recognised the spectre, but I had no time to go down that rabbit hole, as I had to defeat the spirit and fast.

The spectre and I slowly sank to the bottom of the lake, hands around each other's throats, and I noticed that it was somehow breathing in oxygen and I knew what I had to do. I groaned reluctantly and pinched the mirage's nose closed and with my other hand, grabbed it's face and kissed it firmly on the mouth. Now I wouldn't say it was sexy or anything, since I was simply doing my duty, but...

... It did the job. The spectre flailed violently and I held on as tight as I could. As I practically stole the air from its spirit lungs, the spectre grabbed my face, but not to return the sentiment, instead I suddenly saw my life flash before my eyes. I wasn't dying, I don't think, but the ghost in an act of malice began to show me my worst, most traumatic memories.

Here they are (in chronological order):

My first day as a Boy Scout

The time I spilt hot coffee on my computer

The death of my entire family

When the teacher mispronounced my surname (it was an insult on my family)

The time I was shoved into a pool fully clothed

The confiscation of my viper by the US government

When I stubbed my toe on my dresser

Vegas

Vegas, again

When a bat flew into my house and I couldn't get it out (it may have been rabid)

The time I was chased home by a magpie in September (it was imported)

When I was strip searched at the airport

When I forgot to study for my prostate exam (imagine my shock when I found out what it was)

The last time I was kidnapped and waterboarded

Girl scouts

When I had to kill my new friend in New Mexico

When I woke up during my surgery

The death of the giant Viper

I could scarcely hold back my tears as they began to dilute the thick water, but I held onto the mirage as it stopped moving entirely. As I let it go, it floated upwards gently before evaporating entirely into the lake and I couldn't stop myself from scream-sobbing until I passed out under the lake.

I woke up to the face of Cosmic Tomorrow hovering above me. I screamed even as I awoke since my heart was so broken from what I saw under the surface of the lake. But Cosmic slapped his hand over my mouth to silence me as he looked at me with bright eyes.

"Obsidian, you did it! You drowned the mirage!" I breathed a sigh of relief, overjoyed that I had drowned the mirage.

Cosmic helped me to my feet, and I suddenly remembered Elly almost drowning, just like the mirage. I turned to ensure that she was alright. She was still unconscious, just like she was when the spectre had her in its clutches but she was still breathing steadily.

"Elysium was cursed by the lake mirage" Cosmic informed me mournfully. I wailed in agony. I grasped Elly's cold WET hand in sorrow but that's when I noticed that her hand was a lot colder than usual. Not like she was dead, but like she was freezing like a human ice block. Deadass. This must be the curse!

I turned and grabbed Cosmic by the head and began to shout at him.

"You have been here before, haven't you? You knew about this lake, and this curse, and you said nothing! You little botanist bitch!" Cosmic writhed and thrashed but my grip on his head was too strong as he wailed.

"Please, Obsidian! I meant nothing by it!" he sobbed "I know we can break the curse! I'm just sure of it!!!!"

I threw Cosmic back. He stumbled a few steps, almost landing in the lake, but stopped just short of it.

"I know a place..." he said, tentatively brushing his orange hair behind his ear. "Please take Elysium and follow right behind me!" he added. He then began to walk away from the lake at a brisk pace. I quickly scooped Elly up and then ran to catch up with him. Just as I thought he was about to disappear into the trees that surround the interdimensional clearing, he suddenly stopped, turned around and started running full speed at the lake before leaping into the water. The water that was thick, as I previously stated. Thick water. I dropped my head and my jet black hair fell in my face; it was still very wet from being in the thick water. I then ran and leapt into the lake to follow Cosmic.

It was dark under the water, but I already knew that from having already been in the lake, so it was a while before I spotted Cosmic who was steadily sinking downwards into the deceivingly deep lake. I was kind of worried he'd passed away on impact or something, but no, I could tell he was still with us since he was gripping his little straw hat to prevent it from floating up and away from him. I pinched Elly's nose shut and covered her mouth (with my hand, not like how I defeated the water ghoul) so that she would not be breathing in any more of the thick, thick water.

We continued sinking for around twelve more minutes, before everything went bright and we kkkbegan to float up at a very rapid pace. I was pretty stressed out at this moment, but looking at Cosmic, he seemed entirely calm (which for someone like him is kind of unusual i GUESS), but before I knew it, we had entered what I could only assume to be a different (still thematically water based) dimension.