~secrets~ (loki and the Avengers story) Discontinued

~do it~

TW self harm!!! Mention of wanting to die!!!

It was the next day after the whole anger outbreak, and Loki was feeling terrible he had a headache and random depressing thoughts. He also wasn't in a good mood since Tony chewed him out about the dirty clothes pile he had laying out.

Earlier

"This is disgusting Loki, your living in filth" Tony griped. Loki rolled his eyes, "it's just a pile of clothes".

Tony crossed his arms "just a pile of dirty clothes.. Honestly your disgusting, why cant you ever clean up after yourself... You just lay here, you don't shower you don't change your clothes, you do nothing" Tony growled.

The words disgusting hit Loki like a truck, he was disgusting?. He didn't feel gross but I guess he was if Tony said he was.

Loki set up, "I'm sorry, I just don't feel well" Loki mumbled. "excuses excuses" Tony said, Loki let out a small whine before laying back down.

Loki heard the door slam and angry foot steps down the hallway. Loki turned to his side staring out the window, it was dark and cloudy just how he was feeling.

'They hate you' 'your gross' 'worthless' 'pathetic' 'you deserve it' lokis thought ran wild as slow tears fell from his face. "Please stop" Loki whispered, he put his hands up covering his ears with them.

He whined before getting up and moving to his feet, he shuffled to the dirty clothes pile. Loki let out a sigh, he really wasn't feeling up to this but he didn't want to be called disgusting again.

Loki grabbed as much clothes as he could and headed out of his room, he pushed the bathroom door open with his foot. Loki then shoved the dirty clothes in the laundry basket and went back to get the rest.

After that Loki grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and a towel, he did kinda smell like sweat and BO. He walked out of his room and into the bathroom, he still hated the rain bath but be gotten somewhat used to it.

Loki didn't know why but the rain shower felt nice maybe because it was warm and calming.

Loki stepped out of the shower, the cold air hitting him like a rock. Yes he loved the cold but he was skinny and small so he got cold alot easier, he quickly dried off and put his new comfy clothes on.

He walked back into his room when he was done and saw his bed it was messy and the covers were half on the bed and half on the floor.

He pulled the covers up and straighten them out, then rearranging the pillows and putting his stuffed animal in the middle. "Perfect, they should be proud I did something" Loki said out loud.

He smiled and made his way to the living room, but he stopped when he heard Tony. "He's so gross how could he not shower and clean up after himself" Tony said annoyed, "yes he didn't really bath when he was in Asgard either he kinda stayed away from it and slept most of the time" Thor chimed in.

"Lazy to I see" Tony replied. Loki heart sunk, as he heard the mean words they were saying, most of the time Loki felt alot of body dysphoria. He hated how his skinny he was and how his ribs showed though his skin and the fresh and unfresh cuts made him feel like he failed.

Loki eyes teared up when he didn't hear Steve stand up for him, 'am I really that much of a problem' Loki thought. 'Of course I'm that much of a problem, why would I even think I'm not' Loki thought to himself.

Loki made his way to the kitchen to drown his thoughts in ice cream and soda, but something caught his eye. The big shiny knife that sticked out of the knife holder.

'Do it!' 'No one cares' 'DO IT' 'DO IT!!!' "Loki" Loki snapped out of his thoughts and turned around to see steve. "You alright?" Loki gave a quick nod and ran past Steve and up the stairs to his room.