Killugon one shots

Love letters

Type: Fluff

Pairing(s): Killugon

Description:

Killua is really timid when it comes to expressing love and attachment orally, so for the sake of his partner, he tries to express his feelings with actions.

One shot was originally posted : 14/02/2023 on AO3 by 0Creativity0 (me).

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Gon looked around the room for his boyfriend, nowhere to be seen. He checked once again the paper in his hands: it was an envelope, he just found laying on his bed when he came back from the bathroom.

His bed was made and the window was open, which meant that Killua came by while he was taking his shower. It was not so surprising: Killua's hotel room was just next to his, and they gave each other their key codes -because, to avoid clients losing keys, this hotel had key codes instead-. And when he did come in the morning he often made his bed so Gon wouldn't have to, and other times Gon would do the same for him. What was truly surprising was that he went back, and left behind the little paper white package, tinted with Gon's name. Gon could clearly recognize Killua's handwriting, it was neat and clear. If he had wanted to dissimulate it, he could've: he remembers Killua mentioning that "knowing how to fake one's writing was apart of my training", and it made sense. 

Gon sat on his bed, legs crossed and opened the little envelope. Inside was a simple little paper, a dozen of words and for his surprise, a little heart. He smiles with anticipation, starting to read, word by word. 

It was, if Gon understands well, an appreciation. Of what? Well, basically everything about Gon. His skin, his hair, his personality, his smile, his voice, his presence, his eyes, his smile again -because his smile was mentioned a lot. It sounded to Gon like the kind of things that he'd never imagine Killua telling him: never in the two years they had spent together Killua had ever complimented him, and now here he was, reading a letter full of them, of all those things he never thought anyone would say and he never thought anyone would think. 

And Killua said - well, wrote:

[...]

I may not say these things out loud like you do so easily, but I realise that I should and that you need to hear them as much as I do. It is no question of whether I feel them or not: I do, I have for a long time. I just can't seem to find my words, or the strength to spill them. I would like to be like you, and to have no shame for what I feel and say, but I do, and I only found the motivation to write this because I know that you deserve it, well in fact, you deserve way more.

If I was to be honest I'd have to admit it is not the first time I write about you: it will certainly not be the last. But there's something different about knowing that you'll read and acknowledge it this time. I've been trying to write this for the last three months -ever since we got together-, but I tend to feel insecure about my words and to do it again and again, seeking perfection. It's only thanks to time that I came to realize that perfection is not close to what you need. 

[...]

And he's right. Perfection is not what Gon wanted: he wanted to be loved. And he was, he knew it, yet this text, as simple as it might sound, still was enough to tear a cry out of him. He sniffed, getting up and putting the letter carefully back in its envelope and in his backpack. He washed his face, got up and left his room. He was happy, radiating: there was nothing like feeling this loved, loved to the point that every and each day Killua got over more and more fears just to be there for him. And he was so, so grateful for every single minute he got to spend with him. 

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" - Morning! Gon said, getting on his tippy toes and kissing Killua's cheek. He waited for Gon in the corridor next to the main entrance. 

- Hello. Killua responded seemingly unbothered. He was -finally- getting kind of used to physical touch initiated by Gon. "

They walked together, leaving the hotel for the closest coffee to take breakfast.

Their day went on, so did the week and the month, and Gon never came to openly mention Killua's letter. He didn't need to, his mood and his confidence were enough for Killua to understand how he definitely had a great idea writing that letter, how he should not regret it. And he did not: in fact he even did it again, and again, and again. Gon thought that at some point in would get repetitive, yet it never did: Killua had surprisingly more to say than he lets Gon know. And the older boy enjoyed discovering Killua's perspective of himself, how many details he thought would pass unnoticed seemed to enchant Killua. Because Killua loves Gon's eyes and his smile just like he loves the rest of Gon: the constellation of freckles decorating his back and shoulders, the tanner shade his skin took on humid days, his heart shaped birthmark on his left arm, and more that Gon hadn't heard of from anyone ever before.

Killua always seemed to keep an attentive eye over Gon in a positive manner. If Gon was to be honest, he kept one over Killua too.