Killugon one shots

Chocolate

Type: Angst & Fluff

Pairing(s): Killugon

Description:

Killua loves chocolate. He wonders why, but only a part of him he'll never know about actually holds the answer.

One shot was originally posted : 31/05/2023 on AO3 by 0Creativity0 (me).

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Chocolate. The darker it was, the more Killua loved it. He had spent so much money in his life on chocolate, that he couldn't even count it anymore. He was known by the butlers at the Zoldycks' for his sweet tooth. Every single year, he would be given for his birthday a chocolate cake, and as gifts, boxes of chocolate - since those were the only kind of "celebration" his family allowed him to have.

When had it started? He didn't know. Probably in his childhood, when he was seven or so. Why? That was such a weird question. Everyone likes chocolate. But it was indeed quite surprising how, one day, Killua just randomly started to like chocolate, when he had tasted it countless times before and had never expressed any kind of interest.

Liking chocolate had always been kind of Killua's "personality trait". So, why is it that, after meeting Gon and his other friends, he slowly started completely forgetting chocolate even existed?

As much as Killua thought about it, he couldn't find an answer. Maybe there was none, he thought. However, there was one. And deep, deep down, in his subconscious, he knew.

Chocolate. As mentioned before, who doesn't love chocolate? A few people do dislike it, and some even cannot eat it, however most people just enjoy it - principally children.

So, when Killua convinced himself he loved chocolate, was he just convincing himself he was like other children? Was he convincing himself he could be those he had been told his whole life he would never even frequent?

Or maybe was it more than that? Maybe Killua didn't want to be like other children, maybe Killua just wanted to be?

In fact, one of the things the Zoldyck claimed to be, was lifeless, and at whoever-paid's services. They weren't allowed to have necessities (such as sleeping, eating, or even drinking.). They weren't allowed to have preferences (such as pets, colors, or food and perhaps clothes). They weren't allowed to exist as individuals. Infact, the whole family made one big entity.

Perhaps, when Killua told his family he enjoyed chocolate, just a year after his first mission, it was his own way of silent protest. An unsaid "I exist" that only he could hear. Because, if infact he had ever contested his family's authority, if ever he had said "You are wrong, I have tastes.", the consequences would've been terrible. However, if he said "I love chocolate.", nothing could be done. Because, a child loving chocolate felt so natural that there was no need to protest it.

If the Zoldycks got the message? Probably not. They would never consider Killua as someone, like they'd never consider themselves. But at least it somewhat relieved Killua. His love for chocolate was the one thing about him that made him feel human for many, many years.

Those things were never to be considered by Killua, however. He never gave himself time to think of his own mind. And again, who would question a child about liking chocolate? It seemed logical, almost.

There were a lot of details like that, that Killua would never acknowledge in his life. However, it didn't mean others wouldn't. Gon had indeed caught onto some of them, not all of course. He had mostly no idea of what Killua went through in his childhood, if it isn't for the torture methods that he told Gon about. But sometimes Gon would wake up early and think of those things while he waited for Killua. His capacity to understand others was one of the reasons people got attached to him so easily.

" - Ready to go? Killua asked, surprising Gon.

- Oh? Ah, yeah, sure. He said, looking around for his bag.

- You need to be more aware. You can't just sleepwalk every morning, stupid. His friend scolded.

- I know, sorry. Gon responded with a smile. "

Once Gon had his stuff packed in his bag, they got up and left. Gon was glad his friend interrupted him before he went further into his thoughts and started analyzing himself. He didn't want to, not today.