Until I Found You

Chapter 11. The moment I realise🧿

"Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you"
-taylor swift

SAYANTANI'S POV-

I haven't talked to anyone since the incident that happened this morning. Whenever anything seems bad to me, I get hurt, I choose the silence to get over from it.
I am sitting right now at the same place where we were yesterday. Yesterday everything was so beautiful but today..

Unlike yesterday, the place is so much silent. Usually silent places helps me to calm myself down. But today, But today for the first time I have lost both my heart and mind. This seems to be what happens when you fall in love with someone. I read a book about where they talk about the 5 phases of love.
• Deniel
• Anger
• Compromise and Expectations
• Being Jelouse
And the 5th one,
• Heartache

They said that, You won't understand when you feel all this emotions. Until you feel the last one.
I didn't believe in all this but now I feel a lot. My heart aches, my mind become uncontrollable and my thoughts can't even let me breathe. It's suffocating.

I hugged the silence so tight until the heaviness in my heart leaves my soul. I cried.....

Suddenly I felt someone behind me. I turned and saw Adi and Apu. Adi sat beside me And he put my face on his shoulder and said, " I'm telling you again , you can rely on me".
I couldn't stop myself anymore. Cried on his shoulder.
"Sima" Apu asked
I hummed and looked at her.
"Do you like Siddharth?"
I looked at her. Honestly I don't have any answer. I myself don't know. Do I like him?. If no, then what about the feeling I feel now? Then what about my tears? Isn't it for him?.
"I- I don't know. I'm co- confused!" I said while sobbing.
"What do you mean by confused? The things you feel, isn't if for him? Isn't it love?" She said.
"I really don't know" I cried again.

"Iski confusion ki gan*******
Dekh behen, hum tujhe kuch sawal karenge aur tu meri akhon ki taraf dekh kar sach sach jawab degi. Samjhi?"
She said and I nodded as yes.

When you look at him, are you happy or not?
I hummed as yes
When he comes close to you, caresses your hair with love, does it tickle in your heart or not?
When he gets hurt, you also feel pain. Isn't it?
every song reminds you of him.
When I or Adi tease you about his name, somehow you also like it. No?
Every time when it's comes about him, you always the one among all who genuinely cared for him.
Your eyes sparkles, your heart beats fast. Your cheeks turned red.
You smile when he smiled, you cried when he cried.
Now admit it sima, you love him. You do. You really do!"
I listened to everything Apu and Adi said.

Yes, both of them are right. The answer to all these questions is yes. Haa, I fall for him. Everything I am feeling is true.
"Yes, but-" I said.
"Sima! Ek aakhri baat thi." This time Adi said.
I hummed.
"Agar Siddharth sach main Veronica ya kisi aur ladki ke saath......
Tu dekh sakegi? Sah payegi tu?
Aagar Aaj Siddharth ko kuch ho jaye-" I didn't let him finish his sentence.
This question stopped my heart beating. Cleared all my confusion and made me blank. And I asked my heart the question they asked. And the answer is..
No, I won't be able to see him with anyone. I won't be able to bear it if anything happens to him.
I have never felt all this before but I can say that, I- I will honestly die if anything happens to him. I know this.
A drop of tear fell on my cheek and my heart groaned in pain. And I said, "Yes, I love him."
Apu smile and said, "mujhe pata tha, kya hain na... zuban chahe kitna jhut bole, par akhen har ankahi labz, Bina kahe bayan kar hi deti hain!"
"I saw that in your eyes. The way your book boyfriends look at their love, you look at him in the same way without even knowing it" Adi said to me.
I smiled. Apu's question made me realise about my feelings and Adi, he made me sure about it.
"Adi, tu ise samhal, mujhe thoda kaam hain" Apu said and went away.
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