The Thoughts That Chew

loving a stranger

Dont fall inlove with a bad feeling.

Doesn't matter if it's a crush

Someone you never talked to

Someone you've known your whole life

A best friend

a guy

a girl

And the more you love this person

The more it hurts to let them go

there's never a perfect relationship
and it will always hurt
The deeper you go

some words in a relationship are repetitive,
It can be"i love you"
It can be "I care"

but it will always end in a sorry.

"I'm sorry"

are you?

and I now realize

they will never be sorry

They can never be sorry

If they truly meant it.
they would of never hurt me.

"I love you"
Is temporary
Because if they meant it
They wouldn't be gone
they would've apologized with sincere words
no one ever means it.
but I meant it,
It was never meant to be.

This stranger

the one that made me smile we were together

To

wanting to take back every smile you gave them.

a quote,
"You don't miss the person you miss the memories of them"
That's a lie.

I don't miss anyone I used to love

I don't miss the memories

But some days

On some nights

I end up thinking

"did I make the right choice?"

and I think

That I could text them
and maybe
I could not hate the stranger
As much as I do now.

but I know now
that It will never be the same.

Its never okay

It will never get better.

the thoughts will cut deeper

The more you think

The closer you are to getting hurt.

another quote,
"Strangers are your friends you haven't met yet."

I know a stranger

a stranger I loved

A stranger id laugh with all night

a stranger I could talk to

and where I would talk for hours about them

where I would have notes on and on about

Their favorite things

But eventually

The notes will be deleted

The smiles turn into frowns

The messages would go dry

The pictures will disappear

the texts wouldn't go through anymore

they were gone

And that's how a stranger you once loved

the stranger you would laugh with

The stranger you would be excited to text

Would turn into the stranger you walk past

With no words
With no looks
With no contact

but with thoughts

of feeling guilty.

I will never miss this stranger

I will never talk to them

I will never smile at them

I will never laugh with them

I hate them.

but sometimes

I wish

I still knew this stranger.

but again

I will never love like I loved before

And everytime I love someone
And they leave
I will love the next person a little less
because I know

everyone is temporary

My ex
That knows all my secrets
all my favorite things
my birthday
my family.

is now a stranger

That I walk by

with nothing left

To feel for him.

But guilt, and pity.