The Thoughts That Chew

if.

if you didnt survive.
your mother would still be mourning
she would sit in your room late at night
and find all the secrets you kept.
she would call your name for dinner,
but you'd never come.
she would have to keep your siblings away from your room
after she found your collapsed body
she would call 911 praying you'd be okay
but your body was already cold.

if you didn't survive.
your sister would sit alone in her room
Waiting for you to come upstairs, to hangout with her one last time.
she would stare at the empty seat at the table
feeling empty,
dinner is quiet.

if you didn't survive,
your school finally got the news,
your favorite teacher would hesitate at your desk handing out papers.
your friends wish they noticed
your classmates were confused

if you didn't survive,
your pet would sit at the door,
wagging their tail or come running whenever they hear a knock
but it's never you,
they won't ever accept the fact that you won't come back
They don't know you won't come back.

If you didn't survive,
People would sit at your funeral
people would spread your story
people will cry
people will be hurt
but they
will finally believe you.

if you didn't survive,
your room would've went quiet
your tears would have dried
your sight would go black.
you would be cold.
but more loved then you were ever before.