Educated Stress

Anger Management III

I remember walking with two of my best friends out of Walmart.
I said "I'm bi."
One said "oh"
The other went to her car because she was tired.

AND I CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK.

I DON'T MEAN TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION, BUT I JUST CONFESSED MY BIGGEST FUCKING SECRET TO YOU ASSHOLES.

A LITTLE RESPONSE WOULDN'T KILL YOU.

IT TOOK ME FOUR MONTHS TO GET THE COURAGE TO SAY IT TO SOMEONE'S FACE RATHER THAN HIDING BEHIND A FUCKING SCREEN.

I WENT HOME THINKING I MADE A FUCKING MISTAKE.

I went home thinking I was the mistake.

I COULDN'T FUCKING SLEEP.

I KNEW YOU WERE BOTH CHRISTIANS AND I ASSUMED YOU WERE JUST TWO MORE BELIEVERS THAT HATED MY CHOICES.

My sexuality isn't a choice.

But my friends are.

BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY PEOPLE I'VE EVER TRULY TRUSTED.

I can't even trust myself.

AND NOW I'M NOT SURE IF I CAN TRUST YOU.

Am I overreacting?

A part of me says "yes"

But I can't trust myself.

WHO THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO TRUST WHEN MY INSECURITIES AND ASSUMPTIONS ARE CONSTANTLY CHANGING MY VIEWS OF THE WORLD AROUND ME?

I don't know.

I don't fucking know.