Just Dust N' Bones, Baby

Baby it hurts

"I'm gonna take a shower..." Axl mumbled. 

Slash nodded, "Okay," he kissed his cheek softly, letting him walk away with a fresh stack of clothes and shower stuff. Slash really wanted to join him, but he was still kinda raw right now, Slash thought he just wanted to be alone for a minute. 

Axl lately didn't like being alone though, and Slash was a little worried about him for that, and he wasn't quite sure what would happen. But Slash trusted him, and this was at least little baby steps he thought to getting Axl more independent again, this was a good way to start. 

Even after logic and reasoning, there wasn't anything Slash could do though to shake the feeling in his stomach that something still wasn't right with his boyfriend. 

Slash sat down on the bed, stretching himself out to think more comfortably. Before he knew it, he heard something drop in the bathroom, probably just a shampoo bottle, and he realized he must've dozed off. "Slash..!?" he heard a shaky voice come from behind the bathroom door, his tone almost urgent-sounding. 

"Axl?" he sat up immediately, hearing the unsteadiness in his voice, "What's wrong?" Axl didn't reply. Slash climbed off the bed, "Axl is everything okay?" Slash spoke through the door. "Can I come in?" Axl still didn't reply. Slash lowered his voice, "I'm gonna come in, okay?" 

He heard Axl hiss and a weight slam against the other side of the door as he must've pressed his body up against it, "NO!" Slash backed up from the door in surprise. He heard his voice quiet into a whisper, "I don't- I don't want you to-to see me like this.." 

Slash rested his head against the door, "Are you wearing any clothes?" 

"Y-yeah I got clothes.." 

"..Then why can't I come in?" 

Axl's voice was very quiet and uncertain, "Because I- I..." 

Slash leaned against the door, "....Axl, please let me in.. I promise it's okay.." he didn't hear Axl's reply if he had one, but after a moment of hesitation he felt his weight against the door leave. 

Slash slowly turned the door handle and creaked it open. A little cloud of steam escaped through the top of the door, and the air was sticky and warm. 

When Slash entered, he found Axl, sitting in a tiny ball in the corner of the bathroom, head down, his still wet hair covering his face in strands, his body looking small and trembling hysterically, and he had his right hand clamped tightly over his left forearm, and Slash saw little trickles of red blood slipping between his fingers and on his hand. Slash noticed a razor blade on the floor across the bathroom, tinged with blood. Axl didn't look up, just stared at the ground in fear and utter shame, "I... I did something bad, Slash..." 

Slash had wide, frightened and shocked eyes, "You, you cut yourself??" he asked in bewilderment, his voice sounding as hurt as his heart felt, "Axl why?" Axl didn't look up at all, keeping his head down in guilt. Slash fell to his knees, his eyes watering. "Why did you cut yourself Axl?" he repeated. 

Slash couldn't describe how hurt he felt, he knew Axl was going through a tough time, but he thought he was helping. He thought he made Axl feel better, he thought that from now on Axl was going to talk to him about this, and to tell him when he felt really really dark some days. But he guessed none of it was true, Axl still felt this way, he wanted to hurt himself, maybe even worse, and he didn't want to tell Slash about it or to ask for his help, so he wouldn't. And Slash felt incredibly hurt. 

"Axl tell me," he said, his voice lowering, full of sorrow but a more demanding in his tone. 

"... I-I-I don't know...... I... It was really, b-blurry.... I don't know what I was thinking Slash but I-I got out of, of the shower and I, I saw the razor and-and-and.." he trembled and he looked far too close to tears for Slash's comfort.