Stray kids angst oneshots

dieting/anorexia part two

Minhos eyes landed first on jisungs ribcage. He could count every bone and was shocked to see how his waist sunk in.

Then jisung started rummaging through his shirts closet while still bare backed and Minho saw that his spine was sticking out as well.

A walking skeleton. That's what jisung looked like. I knew he wasn't eating enough. I'll talk to him about it later. And with that he fell back asleep.

Jisung went out on his run. With every step he took he felt his breath heave and his body begging to stop.

He was getting dizzy so he slowed down a bit. He drank half of his water bottle and continued running.

Why couldn't I just be born skinny. Why can't I be more like jeongin or Felix. I hate this I hate running I hate dieting. It was only 6:30 am and jisung was already feeling despair and sadness.

Later that day they had a dance rehearsal. Jisung had built a love-hate relationship towards dance rehearsals because on one hand, by the time it was midday, he had no energy to dance due to lack of food and the run in the morning, and on the other hand it burned a lot of cals.

The van with the members pulled up in the dance studio and they all went inside, starting to warm up already and tie their sneakers.

Jisung was setting down his water bottle next to the mirror when he heard someone running up to him.

He spun around and saw Minho.
"Hey jisung, I want to talk to you about something important that's been bothering me." Minho started.

"Ok everyone I'm turning on the music, start practicing." Their instructor announced.

"Later..." Jisung muttered.
Shit did he see me change this morning? Is he going to confront me? Is he going to force me to eat???

The music started and jisung quickly got in his place and started dancing as best as he could, yet not doing so well due to his circumstances.

He started seeing black dots in his vision and the room started to spin.

"Woah jisung are you ok?"
"Jisung what happened?"
"Maybe we should call an ambulance."

The last thing he remembered seeing was blurry faces of the members above him shouting incohefent words.

And then, darkness.

When he woke up, he didn't recognize where he was.
There was a bright light above him, and some beeping noise in the distance.

He opened his eyes and tried turning them from left to right. After a few tries, he succeeded, and he saw some weird needle thing in his arm.

Hmm that's weird I don't think I put a needle in my arm recently. Oh wait. Jisungs eyes widened when he realized he was in a hospital.

He looked to his left and he saw Minho and bangchan asleep on two chairs, and on his right, there was a feeding tube.

"No! No! Please not a feeding tube." He shouted out, trying to wiggle away from it but he still had barely any strength.

The other boys in the room woke up and Minho smiled while chan looked so relieved.

"You're awake!" Minho rushed over to jisungs bed. "You've been out for a day and a half." He said.

"I'll go call a doctor." Chan left the room.
A minute later a doctor came in the room.

"Han Jisung, I would like to discuss why you are here with you, it might be a bit personal so if you'd like you can tell the other two boys to leave." The doctor sat down on a chair nearby.

"They can stay." Jisung permitted.

"Very well. Han Jisung, you are severely underweight and you have collapsed a day and a half ago. Do you have an eating disorder?" The doctor asked, even though he knew the answer.

The room was still for a good few moments. Jisung glanced at chan and Minhos solemn faces, and sighed.

"Yeah I probably have anorexia. But doctor please take this feeding tube out of me! I don't give consent to this and I want to leave." Jisungs words came out rushed and upset.

"Sung-y, please. Try to cooperate. We are so worried about you." Minho explained, tone laced with empathy.

No no this is forced recovery! It's all for nothing! All my hard work! I can't I can't jisung started hyperventilating.

"Hey hey don't worry, we are gonna take this one step at a time. Just until you get to a healthy weight again." Chan tried to calm him down.

"No! Don't you get it?! I only look good now! I only look good when I feel horrible. Being "healthy" will make me fat and unlovable." Jisung cried hystericaly.

The doctor had awkwardly let himself out at this point.

"Jisung, I will love you no matter what weight you are or how ugly you think you are. You are so beautiful and the only thing telling you you aren't is a disordered minset that we will work on together so that you can see the truth." Minho grabbed jisungs hand and rubbed it soothingly.

"You don't understand..." Jisung muttered and sobbed while Minho gave him a hug.

He wept in Minhos arms with that stupid feeding tube injecting hundreds of calories in him.

He wept when he thought of how everyone knows now and how everyone's gonna be watching him.

He wept when he realized he failed to get skinny and he's gonna be fat like before.

He wept and wept until he knocked himself out from the tears and energy he used for all that pain.

He fell asleep with tear marks rolling down his face.

(The end yay. Sorry bout it being two chapters they won't usually be like this, it ended up being longer then I expected.)