Stray kids angst oneshots

autism

(a.n. just remember that autism is a spectrum and not everyone experiences it the same. This is specifically seungmins experience.)

Seungmin was really good at learning in school. And getting good grades. And taking notes. And sitting quietly and never disturbing the class.

He was so good at school because he was really organized and in his mind, the school was fair and the perfect amount of time in order to learn effectively.

He never complained about learning or homework or anything because he enjoyed it, and liked how the lessons schedule was always consistent.

Consistency was his main reason for liking school. School shaped his life. It was a pattern of structure.

For example- Wednesdays he comes home later since there's an extra hour of math at the end, and then the bus that he takes home comes at exactly 17:32 every time and then he comes home at 18:14 and takes a shower since Wednesdays are shower days.

Thursday, on the other hand, he prefers to take the light rail home because everyone in his school ends at the same time and then the bus gets stuffy.

When seungmin gets stressed and feels frustrated, he likes to think of the school subject schedule or the bus routes to calm him down since to him, having order and routine is the most comforting thing the world has to offer.

Seungmin likes improving himself and is usually very motivated in school to learn and do everything he needs to do like a good student.

And then their are days where he just can't. He just can't learn, can't focus, can't think, can't function.

It's his burnout days. Seungmin hates burnout days since they come so unexpectedly and he always feels upset with himself for crashing.

Today seungmin came to school with a lot discipline to learn well and maybe even socialize, and he did do that. For most of the day.

And then during the second recess he started to get overwhelmed. His desk was messy, his class was shreiking, he had a test the next day to study for, people were so close to him and kept brushing shoulders occasionally.

During the double math period he kept resisting the urge to just rest his head on the table and zone out, and he lasted for the first hour and fifteen minutes, but for the last fifteen minutes he just gave up.

"Hi seungmin! Wanna go grab lunch together with everyone?" A very cheerful jeongin appeared out of no where.

Seungmin shook his head. "I'm sorry, I dont think I can right now." And he walked away to a his special spot.

This special spot is in the library, since it's so quiet in the library, and the librarians really nice.

He got there and sat down. They had a recess for thirty minutes and seungmin planned on having it spent in the library.

He didn't have energy to go on his phone and receive some content. Seungmin was tired of processing and thinking and understanding, and so he just sat cross legged and stared straight ahead.

He zoned out, his body completely still as his mind was trying to refresh itself.

Time passed by really quickly, as most recesses do, and seungmins watch made a loud beep, to signal it's time to go to the next class.

Seungmin got up and walked to his classroom automatically, already dreading going inside the door.

And sure enough, when he stepped in the classroom he felt an overwhelming rush of overstimulation wash through him.

The kids were shouting and arguing, the lights in the classroom were so bright, the teacher was teaching something no doubt important but seungmin wasn't processing any of it.

He stood with his back on the wall next to the teachers table, trying to decide what he should do but not in the mood of making decisions.

"Go sit down seungmin, there's assignment papers for everyone to fill in, and at the end of the class I will collect them. It's part of your grade so get to it." The teacher informed him.

I can't. I just can't think. These words look like gibberish, I can't concentrate everyone's yelling at the same time, someones bag just touched my my arm, it's so cold in this class, omg stop yelling you obnoxious teenagers. Ughh I have to do this paper I have to be a good student I have to try. I want to go home I can't stay here. Seungmins thoughts were messy and frazzled (very much not the way he likes it).

His breath picked up and he felt his fingers rub together and fiddle - an old habit he does when he gets riled up.

Seungmin couldn't think ahead. He couldn't think of what he was going to do for the rest of the day, he couldn't plan anything.

But he needed to get out, so his brain switched to survival and he muttered a quick "going to the bathroom" to the teacher and fled the wreched classroom.

He ran to the patio outside and sat on the synthetic grass under the sun to warm him up.

No more noise no more touch no more talking no more thinking no more no more seungmins eyes were shut close and his legs shook up and down.

"Are you alright?" A random student asked, approaching seungmin, who was so obviously not alright.

Seungmin didn't even look up to see who it was, he couldn't go through the stressfull task of communicating, so he just nodded his head and hoped the student would go away.

The student left apprehensivly, and seungmin felt tears prickle his eyes.
It was so frustratung. This whole day was so hard. And now he has so much work to do and make up for, and not only that, he told his teacher he was going to the bathroom, so he should be back by now.

Seungmin took deep breaths and fiddled with grass. He prepared himself to grab his bag and leave and go home.

After five minutes of preparation and soaking the delicious sun in, he got up and walked into his classroom.

This time, he tuned out everyone and just focused on the mission of getting the hell out of there.

Once he had his things, he got ready to leave and then -
"You aren't leaving. You haven't learned anything and you need a permission slip." The teacher told him sternly.

Seungmin just stood there blankly, not even knowing how to respond. He wanted to just curl up into a ball and cry.

Suddenly jeongin appeared out of nowhere for the second time that day, pushing past the loud students who weren't paying attention to anything that was going on.

"Teacher, seungmin has a permit to be able to leave classes when he feels that he needs to, as well as many other permits. He got it special from the principal and if you don't believe that then I can show u his disability card." Jeongin spoke cooly and seriously.

"Hmm. Ok then, seungmin you can go." The teacher rolled her eyes at having let a student have his way, but still let him leave.

Seungmin gave jeongin a 'thank you' look, and left school in a hurry, looking forward to spending the rest of this awful day unwinding.

(A.n. awww a somewhat happy ending this time. Ur welcome my dear readers)