No Longer Freedom

15. I can't understand you.

Tom's POV

The voices, they argued. Screamed and shouted. It felt like the world would had ended. Everything was pure chaos. The voices felt ten times more powerful than before as they barked and blamed each other. "TOM!!! TOM!!! TOM!" They called me by name with multiple different tones. It hurt my brain. I covered my eyes as I started to grit my teeth together. "TOM!!!" The voices merged into one. Much clearer one. "TOM!!!" Something shook me. "TOM!!!" Tord's scream woke me up to reality.

I opened my empty eyes. My mouth tasted like iron. Wiping off my wet mouth I noticed how my claws were suddenly red. "Get your pointy teeth out of my flesh." Tord's sharp voice commended above me. "Hm?" I opened my mouth and backed up a bit. Tord's arm were  completely covered in red. Blood painted the leaves under him as he threw my jacket back to me. "You were having a bad dream?" Tord mentioned while standing up, walking closer to the lake so he could wash his bloody arm. "You could say that." I licked my lips while I looked away from him. Embarrassment washed over me like the water that cleaned Tord's arm. But why? I've had bitten him before. Why did it felt so wrong? It wasn't new or anything.

I tried to solve my tangled thoughts but the harder I tried to pull the strings apart the tighter the knots got. It felt like I would had a fight against myself or something inside of me. Soon, I weren't so sure of my morals or my motives anymore. Everything was spinning. What had happened to me? I wasn't like that before. All the things had felt so complicated around me. Before he showed up, everything had been fine. I was independent and able to survive on my own. I easily could had left him to suffer to death but now. I felt a  need, need to help him. Something had to be wrong with me. He kidnapped me, starved me, tortured me and on top of that he called me by embarrassing names...But he did good things too. He gave me a good home and friends. He was trying to be better, and I had to respect that.

Maybe if I would had played along he would soften. Everything would be fine. When we would be going back, Tord would be like a new person. Then I could leave everything behind and continue my journey. Even Paul and Patryk would win in that situation.  Everything were depending on me. I must had behaved well. Even if it would had made me vomit.

I snapped out of my thoughts when Tord's hand waved in front of my eyes. "The earth is calling you." He hummed as he stroke my dusty brown hair. Then, a shocking and tingling hot pain suddenly spread across my cheek, after an unexpected slap were heard. "But don't ever bite my hand again." He spat with a powerful voice. Holding up his hand, he turned my head to the left by gripping my horns.

I was so shocked by his unforgettable act that I couldn't put up a fight against him. I thought that the was was already over. Why were I ready to bury those horrible actions? If he wouldn't had done that, I would had been ready to forget all those bruises. What had I become? I thought while my body started to wobble. I couldn't help it but wonder what was he going through. What had gotten his mind so messy. What was wrong with his humanity? Who had broke him so badly that he only wished bad things to happen for everyone around him.

"You think this will make me wanna stay?" I groaned while I felt Tord's dull teeth grinding against my uncovered cheek. He always wanted to make his revenge twice worse. Even though I didn't bite him on purpose. It was a pure accident. I couldn't had done anything about it. Or maybe that was just an excuse for him. Maybe he had been holding back his anger and he just had to let it out.

...Why were I even thinking things like that? I was basically explaining his actions for myself so I could had brushed them off. Realizing that, it scared me. Sense when I had started doing that? Sense when I cared and stopped fighting for my life. Though, come to think of it, my life didn't really had a purpose. Why would it even had been necessary to this ecosystem that I would stay alive? I was just another dragon among others. Fighting back was pointless. I just wasted my energy. It would always be the same circle rolling around over and over again if I wouldn't stop. My anger was the only fuel to him. I had to stay cool. Cold as snow. He lived for attention. If I would had simply just stopped giving it to him, he couldn't won.