No Longer Freedom

15. I can't understand you.

Tom's POV

The voices, they argued. Screamed and shouted. It felt like the world was going to end. Everything was pure chaos. The voices felt much more powerful than before as they barked and blamed each other. "TOM!!! TOM!!! TOM!" They called me with multiple different tones. It started to hurt my brain so I covered my eyes as I started to grit my teeth together. "TOM!!!" The voice merged into one. Much clearer one. "TOM!!!" Something shook me. "TOM!!!" Tord's scream woke me up to reality.

As I opened my eyes, my mouth tasted like iron. Wiping off my wet mouth I noticed how my claw was suddenly red. "Get your pointy teeth out of my flesh." Tord's sharp voice commended above me. "Hm?" I opened my mouth and backed up a bit. Tord's arm was completely covered in red. Blood painted the leaves under him as he threw my own jacket back to me. "You were having a bad dream." Tord mentioned while standing up, walking closer to the lake so he could wash his bloody arm. "You could say that." I licked my lips and looked away from him. Embarrassment washed over me like the water that cleaned Tord's arm. But why? I've bitten him before. Why did it felt so wrong? It wasn't new or anything.

I tried to solve my tangled thoughts but the harder I tried to pull the strings apart the tighter the knots tauten. It felt like I would be fighting against myself or something inside me. Suddenly, I wasn't sure of my morals or my motives. Everything was spinning. What happened to me? I wasn't like this before. All the things felt so complicated around me. Before he showed up, everything was fine. I was independent and able to survive on my own. I easily could have left him to suffer to death but now. I felt this need to help him. Something had to be wrong with me. He kidnaped me, starved me, tortured me and on top of that he called me with embarrassing names...But he did good things too. He gave me a good home and friends. He's trying to be better, and I had to respect that.

Maybe if I play along like this he will soften. Everything will be fine. When we are going back, Tord's gonna be a new person. Then I can leave everything behind and continue my journey. Even Paul and Patryk will win in this situation. Now everything is depending on me. I must behave. Even if it would make me vomit.

I snapped out of my thoughts when Tord's hand waved in front of my eyes. "The world is calling you." He hummed as he petted my head. Then, a shocking and tingling hot pain suddenly spread to my cheek, after an unexpected slap. "But don't ever bite my hand again." He spat with a powerful voice. Holding up his hand, he turned my head to the left by gripping my horns.

I was so shocked by his unforgettable act that I couldn't put up a fight against him. I thought that this was over. Why was I ready to bury those horrible actions that he did? If he wouldn't have done that, I would be ready to forget all those bruises. What had I become? I thought while my body started to wobble. I couldn't help it but thought about what was going on in his messy mind. What was wrong in his humanity? Who broke him so badly that he only wants bad things to everyone around him.

"You think this will make me stay?" I groaned while I felt Tord's dull teeth grinding against my uncovered cheek. He always wanted to make his revenge twice worse. Even though I didn't bite him on purpose. It was a pure accident. I couldn't do anything about it. Or maybe that was just an excuse for him. Maybe he has been holding back his anger and now he just had to let it out.

...Why was I even thinking things like that? I was basically explaining his actions for myself so I could brush them off. By realizing that, it scared me. Sense when I started doing that? Sense when I cared and stopped fighting for my life. Though, come to think of it, my life didn't really have a purpose. Why would it be necessary to this ecosystem that I would stay alive? I was just another dragon among others. Fighting back was pointless. I just wasted my energy. The end would always be the same circle rolling around over and over again if I wouldn't stop. My anger was only fuel to him. I had to stay cool. Cold as snow. He lives for attention. If I simply just stop giving it, he can't win.