i should hate you

the plinth prize

today was the day. possibly the most important day in cassi's entire life. today, they would announce who is receiving the plinth price, she knew it was going to be her. it had to be her. coriolanus had hinted that it would be him but there was no way. certainly, she worked harder. she put in more effort. she had to be the winner.

cassi stared at herself in the circular mirror hanging on the wall, smoothing down the hair she had just brushed. she took a deep breath, eyes scanning her face to make sure everything was perfect. she tried to ignore the way her shirt hung off her body, an obvious indicator of the lack of food in their household. their family couldn't afford to get their clothes tailored so the responsibility always fell on cassi. she started to fidget with the buttons that lined the side but was interrupted by a call from her mother.

"cassiopia!" her mother called from the kitchen. she glanced at herself one more time before turning to walk out of her room.

when she entered the kitchen she saw her mother slicing an apple, a delicacy she knew her mother had gotten just for the occasion. as she viewed the empty table she realized her father and brother had already left for work. something that was not uncommon but not unwelcome. her father always had a way of working her up more than she already was.

"where did you get that?" cassi asked her mom, eyeing the apple. the mere scent of the apple was enough to make her mouth water. 

"they were at the market. we had some extra money saved up this month." her mother informed her. this was a lie, they both knew it. but the overwhelming hunger was enough to distract her. leaving her to nod and reach for the apple. 

"thanks," cassi spoke, giving her mom a tight-lipped smile as she took a bite of one of the slices. the sweet fruit practically melting on her tongue. her attention was ripped from the apple by her mother's voice.

"cassi, my love, what did i tell you about sewing that shirt. if you want to wear it, especially today, you need to make sure it looks nice." her mother lectured her, pulling at the soft fabric that laid on her shoulders. cassi shrugged away, pulling the fabric out of her mothers grasp.

"i didn't have time," cassi spoke with her head down, continuing to eat the apple. that excuse was better than the truth. the truth that cassi's work on the shirt, which she deemed to be perfection, was not even for her mother. her mother sighed but didn't say anything more as she stepped towards the sink to wash the knife she was using. 

the two stood in silence until cassi finished her breakfast. she picked her eyes up to see her mother already looking at her. her mother took short steps towards her, hooking her fingers underneath her chin when she was close enough.

"you have to be perfect today, cassi. like always." she smiled at her, leaning to her side to leave a phantom kiss on her cheek. the words made cassi's breath catch in her thought, they were a commonality all throughout her childhood. when her mother stepped back cassi smiled at her, turning to leave their small home. 

---

cassi couldn't help but eye the other capitol members as she walked to heavensbee hall. she envied their extravagant clothes, wishing her family could afford something so nice. the closer she drew to the hall the more nervous she got. as she saw more of her classmates the gravity of the day set it. she couldn't allow herself to think about what would happen if she did not win the plinth prize. 

cassi held her breath as she walked up the entry stairs, preparing herself to converse with the classmates. with almost perfect timing she heard her name being called from behind her. she turned to see the familiar mop of white hair. coriolanus. she rolled her eyes at him, turning away from him to continue up the stairs. her actions caused a playful smile to find it's way onto his face.