Little Sprout 🌱 A SandLongtae Story.

Chapter 3: Stars Filled Crossroads

SAND

Guiltily looking away after Longtae had called me out on my staring, I say "Sorry, I was just.. you look beautiful... oh shit I'm sorry I didn't mean that, I'm not supposed to say that. Oh God, please forget that"

I was incoherent and utterly embarrassed but I was met with the sweetest sounding laugh and a bright, crescent shaped eyes, so similar to Ray's yet so different. Ray's eyes were haunted by demons he had tried so hard to fight all his life and he really rarely ever laughs. This boy though, still looked so innocent and sweet, like the world had not laid its cruel hands on him or had found him to be too precious; it had felt bad and decided to spare him of the ugliness.

"Thank you. It's alright, I don't mind if you say that. It feels good to hear a compliment" Longtae, again bestows in my direction the brightest smile and innocently sparkling eyes. Giggling a bit before letting the sound die and quiet back down. Again, the contrast to Ray was stark. Ray's smile had forever been tainted with pain and sorrow caused by the horrors he went through.

Now he was looking up at the star embellished sky, only his side profile visible to me. Still as beautiful even in the shadows. Only then I started seeing the differences.

Ray would never be caught dead in those purple colored sweaters with a colorful flowers design and loosely fitting sweatpants. Ray was always dressed so expensively, decked out in designer items that could probably pay off more than years worth of my apartment rent. On Longtae's feet are comfortable, purple colored vans that Ray would have disdainfully thrown out for being too tacky.

When my bodily scrutiny was done, I brought my eyes back to the beautiful, familiar face. Longtae's bangs are down covering his forehead and eyebrows. Ray would never dare be seen in public with hair not properly styled and gelled. The scent that had waffed in the wind, was flowery and delicate much like this boy, while Ray's scent was sensual, deep and musky like sex trapped in a bottle.

Still... the face is so alike I swear back when he arrived I had thought I had seen a ghost. How could two people look so alike yet also look so different at the same time? Although, I had mistaken him for Ray for a while there, there is no way looking at this boy now would I think he was him.

In that sweet, gentle voice of his, that is so befitting for that face he says "Why don't you sing again, if you are done staring.

You sounded so nice, I could hear you already as I was halfway coming up"

"What kind of music do you like?" I asked him.

He shrugs. "I'm not really that much into music. Anything is fine to me as long as it's not the kind where you're trying to rip your throat until it bleeds" he bashfully confessed and I can't help but laugh as I started strumming the guitar, choosing a love song, obviously written by someone who thought his lover was the most beautiful in the world.

I looked at Longtae's serene face again and thought the song felt like it was written for him.

"Why do you keep looking at my face?" He suddenly speaks and I missed a chord, startled for having been caught again.

"Maybe I should be the one scared, are you plotting my demise in your head?" He teased.

This playful manner is once again reminiscent of Ray. Only, Ray's are mostly sexually charged whereas Longtae's are just meant to elicit a laugh.

Ever since I discovered this place a few days after I arrived, I had spent most nights here, alone with just music and the thousands of stars twinkling in the sky as company. Finding comfort in the absence of pain for the first time in 4 years.

Tonight, Longtae had crashed into the peace I had been basking in. Instead of the usual solitude, I find myself laughing freely for the first time in years because Longtae is infectiously positive and never seems to run out of witty remarks to make.

Glancing at the watch on my wrist, it was now half past 11. I slowly stood up and asked "Are you gonna stay or do you wanna go down together? I'm gonna head back down because I still have work tomorrow".

Dusting off imaginary dust from his loose, comfortable looking sweatpants he cheerfully says "Let's go down together".

So in the darkness, already familiar with the trail, armed with a flashlight, I led the way as Longtae follows back to the village.

Bidding him goodnight at the crossroad between each of our houses. I could still hear the cheerful "It was nice meeting you Sand" as Longtae skips, semi hops his way home.

At dawn, I dreamed of Ray, like most nights. Only this time, as I was chasing after him, his face had slowly morphed from the sad, tragic and pretty face of Ray to the beautifully bright and smiling face of Longtae. I was not able to get back to sleep and had lain in the hard bed, confused about what the dream meant.

LONGTAE

When he stood up and offered to go back together, I realized just how tall and fit Sand was. Towering over me by not less than 10cm, I was sure. His physique was lanky but fit and had muscles in all the right places. Was he by any chance a model?

I used to think P'Ton was the most handsome man I have ever seen, at 182 cm tall, I felt so small beside him. He had a captivating face and easy grin that had drawn me in and made a fool of my naively trusting heart.

Following Sand as he leads the way, as if I had not memorized these trails since I was born, I could tell that P'Ton can't hold a candle against this handsome almost stranger I was following down.

Sand could not have been shorter than 184 cm, definitely slightly taller than Chief Phupha, who had been the tallest man in the village for years. Porcelain skin that seems to still glow in the dark. The face is chiseled with high cheekbones, a perfect nose, a very pouty, inviting for a kiss-almost red lips and those large doe eyes framed with long, lush lashes. I've seen two moles perfectly situated, when the light of my flashlight had not so accidentally shown on his face, that only adds to the already surreal handsomeness. And somehow, the blanket of sadness that radiates from him only adds to the beauty of Sand, making him almost ethereal.

We were both just quietly walking down. Surprisingly, the silence wasn't uncomfortable.

Sand didn't look like a man who belongs in this small village. He looks like someone who should be out there, showing off his beauty. What could have made him hide away in this remote area? I was curious and curiosity is never good. It means I was interested.

Being interested was already bad enough when you just got your heart broken, it's worse when you develop it for someone who doesn't belong to your world. Didn't I say never again to city boys?

The thing is, since I was young, I had always been a master at masking my pain. Maybe it started when my mother passed away and I did not want to worry my father who was already grieving but still taking care of a whole village. I had smiled through the pain and my grieving but no one had ever noticed anything was amissed. Whenever I got back from the University for vacation, I had so badly wanted to tell my father I don't want to go back anymore because it was too hard for me in that modern jungle but still because I do not want to worry him, I had acted like nothing was wrong and I had smiled and everybody believed that it was nice and I was happy in Bangkok. Now I was heartbroken, but seeing this man in pain, I had suppressed down the sadness and pain and instead laughed, teased and cheered hoping it could bring him even just a little comfort.

I had bid him goodnight when we reached the crossroads between our houses. He had looked sadder for a moment, as if he did not want to be alone, so to cheer him up I had skipped and hopped away hoping he was gonna think of that silly thing I did instead of the reason why he was so sad in the first place.

When I laid down on my bed, I had almost convinced myself that I wasn't really interested. I was just sympathetic. From a broken hearted person to another, I just wanted to help because I know exactly how badly it hurts.

If I dreamed of those beautiful, pouty, red lips melancholically singing to me as he looks at me with those hauntingly, large beautiful eyes, then that'll be no one's business but mine.