SAND
Arriving at my condo at 9pm, exhausted from the drive. I turned on the lights and silently praised the bestest friend ever who had obviously aired out and cleaned the condo that had not been lived in for almost a year. Since I made plans to come home, I had asked the renter to move out.
Tired but hungry, I sent a quick prayer that Nick had at least stocked the kitchen with noodles and was ecstatic to find a cooked meal with a short note. Unable to stop myself, I sent Nick an I love you message, only to have Boston send a reply with a fuck off icon. Laughing I dragged myself to the shower and fell right asleep after.
The constant Bangkok noise had jolted me awake too early. Got so used to the quiet of the mountains, the sound now really bothers me. Changing into my workout clothes and deciding on a morning run, hoping it will help ease me back into the city life.
Grabbing a pancake sold in the street for breakfast as I was going home, reading a message Nick had sent, saying he had fallen asleep and saw Ton's message. Told him I felt Ton's love regardless and thanked him again for preparing the condo and delicious meal but I'm going to be busy today, so we'll see each other tomorrow.
After my shower, I dressed up in a suit and I stopped by a flower shop I found online and bought bouquets of deep red roses and white roses.
After almost 8 years, this is the first time I came back here. The last time was the day he was laid to rest beside his mother. Walking slowly but purposely, eventually I stopped beside a beautifully maintained pair of graves. I guess Ray's father is taking care of them despite the passing time.
Kneeling down beside the one where Ray Pakorn's name was written. Smiling at the pretty framed picture of Ray.
"Hey Ray!" Touching the trimmed grass on his grave. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come here. You're not too mad at me are you? You're gonna stop sulking now, right? I bought you your favorite red roses. I looked up and it means deep, passionate love. Just like my love for you. I miss you Ray. I still wish you did not have to go but it took me a long time to figure out that you never really saw yourself growing older. You used to tell me you'll forever be as beautiful as you are when we were 23. I'm older now, Ray. I'm almost 30, can you believe that? I did not get to go to the music festivals we used to talk about but it's okay, I won't enjoy it anyway because I wanted to do it with you. Instead, I became a medical volunteer and I saved lives. Now, I'm thinking about being a full time instructor, that way I can teach more people how to save more lives. Isn't that great? It took me too long to forgive myself for what I did. I shouldn't have roped you into my childish revenge game when I knew you were already suffering so much. But you have forgiven me, right? I hope you are happy over there Ray. I think I'm also ready to start over. It doesn't mean I'll forget you, that's never going to happen. I'm always grateful to have met and loved you in my lifetime. You taught me so much, Ray. From now on, when I miss you, I'll come here and we can catch up, like we used to in your mother's music room. I'll also bring my guitar next time and sing to you. You always loved it when I sang and I always loved it when you looked at me with those puppy eyes when I was singing. It's so good now that I can recall all the good times we had, Ray. I used to be so afraid and all I remembered was the end. But our story was made up of the happy moments we shared before that tragic ending, isn't it? It's the parking lot concerts we attended, the visits to the vinyl shops, the band shirt thrift shopping, the breakfast we had to argue about before you eat them after I made you a deal... It's these little shining moments that make up the best of Sand and Ray. I'm sorry I forgot them for a while. What happened at the end wasn't who you are and you have left me so many good things to remember you by, I should let that last day go now. Thank you Ray. I love you, always."
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Little Sprout 🌱 A SandLongtae Story.
FanfictionHope. Growth. Life What happens when Sand, who was suffering from the death of the love of his life Ray meets Longtae aka. Ray's Look-A-Like? Would the Small Town Boy, Longtae be willing to get to know Sand when he had been burned once and had swor...
