Chapter 7: Are You Dating Him Because He Resembles Your Dead Lover?

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LONGTAE

Waking up feels incredibly rejuvenating, especially when I'm in a state of lightness and joy. Just the memory of Sand's kiss makes me feel both vulnerable and elated.

I reached for my phone and found an email from Jenna. Before I went home, she had offered me a full-time position as a photographer at her studio, which she was in the process of establishing. Jenna is a dear friend, and despite my attempts to deny it, I have a genuine passion for photography. It's my true calling. Collaborating with Jenna would be fantastic, being more experienced I could definitely learn from her. It's been six months since I returned home, and I'm yet to make a decision on the direction of my life.

I contemplate Sand and our relationship. Although we share a great friendship and compatibility, we've never broached the subject of anything permanent between us. Yet, haven't I made the same mistake in the past? Sacrificing my identity and aspirations for someone else? If I choose to remain here, it shouldn't revolve solely around Sand.

I rose from bed to join my father for breakfast. "Dad?" I began.

"What is it, Tae?" My perceptive father immediately focused on me.

"I'm confused about what to do," I admitted honestly.

"Tell me more, son," he urged.

"You know how much I love it here. I'm happy with you and everyone in the village. But I've always had a passion for photography. I've received an offer to work again in Bangkok as a Senior Photographer, something I've always hoped for," I explained.

"What will happen if you choose to stay?" my father inquired.

"I'll get to see you every day, be with everyone, cherish everything the mountains offer, and be with Sand," I whispered softly.

"What happens if you choose to go back to Bangkok?" my father probed further.

"I'm not a big fan of Bangkok, but I cherish the experiences I gain as a photographer. It's something I've always wanted for myself. Photography is personal to me, it brings me joy. When I picked my college degree, I thought it would help our village gain recognition and consequently receive better government assistance, but I had always loved taking photos and wished I could do it more" I explained.

"What did I advise you when I suggested staying in Bangkok, Tae?" My father questioned again.

"You encouraged me to take the opportunity to live my life for myself," I replied.

"Exactly, Longtae. I allowed you to live in Bangkok so you could learn to live for yourself. When you were here, you always gave yourself to everyone. You gave generously with that radiant smile. I wanted you to realize that sometimes, it's crucial to receive. If it's not right for you, say no. If it makes you unhappy, say no. If it hurts you, let it go. Son, don't think of me, your friends, or the villagers. We'll all still be here when you return. We'll support and hope for your success because this is something you love. Choose what brings you joy. As for Sand, that's for you to decide. Speak with Sand. Follow your heart, son. It might lead you to wrong paths occasionally, but you'll find your way back, and Pha Pun Dao Village isn't going anywhere," my father gently smiled.

Tears streamed down my face unnoticed, and I embraced my father tightly. I had thought the lesson he wanted to teach me was about not trusting easily. But in reality, he just wanted me to make choices that were right for me, not for everyone else.

Another concern arises with the potential encounter with P'Ton. Deep within, I still harbor apprehension about my sentiments toward him and the concluded relationship. Additionally, there's a fear regarding how he might react; after all, I left him, and P'Ton doesn't handle rejection well.

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