Breathe For Me (For Me 1: Xander)

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

She decided Xander's absence was good. Training, right? It'd help keep things in perspective. Stop her getting too involved. Except she kept thinking about him. She struggled to get to sleep, her body wanted him while her mind whirred in circles.She wanted to talk to him--to joke and laugh.

When she did finally fall asleep the nightmares came. She suffered through the same one as always but a variant sometimes alternated. In the darkness she was searching, searching, desperately trying to find him--a faceless, tall, broad shadow.

She had  to find him. To save him. To love him.

But she'd lost him. She was alone.

Three long, restless nights went by and she didn't get nearly enough sleep in any of them. This was way worse than those few days after the first time they'd slept together when she was worried about seeing him again.

This was lonely. She faked her way through her phone calls with her mom. She distracted herself by talking to Luisa about the pizza project. And she buried herself--almost literally--in her work. On Saturday afternoon as she prepped the plants for the pop-up walls, there was a knock on her door.

She checked the peephole. It was both a dream come true and her worst nightmare. Why did he have to turn up looking so damn sexy when she was head to toe covered in dirt?

Just as he was about to knock again, she opened the door.

"How was your trip?" she asked, stepping into the doorway and trying to hide her smeared hands behind her back.

"Successful," he grinned. "I enjoyed it."

Had he? She swallowed.

"What's going on in your head?" He angled his head, his gaze narrowing on her. One eye brow flickered. "Are you wondering what else I got up to?"

She hadn't wanted to think about that at all. But in those small hours, when the night was darkest and she was in a cold sweat, then yeah--she'd been thinking all kinds of nasty.

"We probably should have established the rest of the boundaries, right?" She swallowed again. "For when you're away." She was determined to be mature. "How about 'don't ask, don't tell'?"

Shock, followed by anger flashed on his face. "No. No one else. Not for me. Not for you."

Relief flooded her system so violently her legs weakened. "Okay." She leaned against the doorjamb, still blocking him from entering.

"Not okay." He eyeballed her some more. "While I'm with you there is no other guy." He drew in a sharp breath. "Was there?"

"No." Of course not. The thought was sickening.

"No one. Understand?"

She nodded. He really didn't need to emphasize it. She wasn't the one most likely, whereas the total stud that he was? He'd have been fending them off in the hotel lobby.

His expression lightened fractionally. "You want to know how I spent my evenings?"

She nodded.

His voice dropped. "I spent every one alone in my room dreaming up new scenarios for you."

She touched her tongue to her lips.

"Holding your breath again?" His chuckle warmed her cheek. "Baby, you've got to learn to breathe. In fact, you've got to learn to..."

She waited for him to finish the sentence. But he didn't.

"I tapped out so many text messages to you," he said instead. "Didn't send one."