you won't get what you want

puppylove (but only one lived)

Remember those early mornings where our fields of visions were filled with roses, lavender and the lush green grass of a distant future so far, with that shining sun and her honey sweet rays that kissed our newborn skin. That inviting warmth coating our years in a blanket of security, a cape of bravery and a sturdy sail in which our small craft battled the challenges of youth.

I watched you blossom throughout those awkward phases that we trudged, hand in hand, in our small bubble of a town. I watched your intelligence cocoon itself and hatch into a glorious thing, a creature with many wonderful skills. In and out of thickets spotted with those thorns of emotion. Even when I bleed from those spikes, even when I sobbed in your arms, we arrived triumphant. That heart of yours I clung to dearly only grew with capacity for kindness and affection.

I knew that you were going to be a force unstoppable, when we succumbed to the flow of time I envisioned your name engraved in stone, plastered on a wall, praised. Your consciousness would be filled with human success, your home would never be empty. You would never be alone, always abundant with good company, even in the grave.

I watch you now from the trench that I've buried myself in, from a wreck dragging my aching corpse of a body up the mount of forgotten dreams and broken promises, climbing upwards from the catacomb of daydreams I've lost myself in. Only to be blinded by your ever-evolving beauty, your charm and smile that still haunts my dreams.

I couldn't keep up with you. Your stride was too ambitious, more trained for the brutal trails in this world. You held so much confidence, soaking up everything like the curious wonder you are.

The ellusive butterfly that landed in my yard. The eclipse in my sky.

Now, I am merely chasing shadows of you.

I speak of you so heavily now because you've appeared in my dreams again. As a damned ghost haunting my soul, you've yet again contaminated my pool of thought.