Burnt Out

☆Her☆

Hayden

Fuck.

I couldn't stop thinking about her.

Ray. Ray. Ray.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about her.

It was her eyes that haunted me the most, once ablaze with a bright fire, now reduced to a mere flicker, a wavering spark teetering on the edge of extinction. Most days, her eyes appeared hollow. Yet, amidst the emptiness, I clung to those rare moments when a glimmer of light lit up her eyes, however fleeting. It was a fragile thread of hope that I grasped tightly. I used that to reassure myself, that though her eyes were dimmed, they weren't completely dead.

I couldn't stop thinking about what I had seen earlier. The image of the scars on Ray's thighs lingered in my mind. A part of me shattered as I feigned ignorance, pretending not to notice as I did not want to make her uncomfortable. I could sense that she thought I remained oblivious to her scars, but the truth weighed heavily on my conscience.

It had taken every ounce of self-control not to halt the car right then and there and ask her why. Ask her who or what was the source of her torment, driving her to inflict such wounds upon herself just to ease her pain? Above all, I longed to offer solace, to pull her into an embrace and hold her, a protective barrier against whatever caused her pain. The ache to comfort her gnawed at me, an unspoken yearning to shield her from the anguish she concealed within.

I perched on a barstool, my attention solely fixed on Ray. I wasn't drinking tonight since I drove here myself, and I needed a clear mind to watch over her.

Despite arriving not long ago, she was already drunk, swaying and dancing with an intoxicated smile. It bothered me to witness her fleeting happiness only when she drowned herself in alcohol. The onlookers regarded her antics with amused expressions, oblivious to the pain etched beneath her facade. Frustration clawed at me-how could they not notice? Couldn't they fucking see that she was hurting?

"You too huh?"

An irritating voice disrupted my thoughts, and as I turned, annoyance etched across my face, I found Jake beside me. My eyes rolled involuntarily. Of course, it had to be him-the school's sweetheart. He was sweet. Too sweet, and sometimes things which are too sweet give you diabetes. In short, I didn't like him. Well, I didn't particularly like anyone in that group, truth to be told-Except for Caleb of course. He was my bestfriend.- The only reason I associated with them was because of Ray. When I first joined the school Redcrest High, expectations loomed as I was wealthy and popular, and their clique epitomized the school's elite.

His comment hung in the air, and I arched an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate on his fuckery. "I mean, it's understandable. Who wouldn't like her? Look at her body," Jake remarked with a smile, his gaze fixed ahead on Ray. My jaw clenched instinctively, suppressing the urge to punch him.

"But she'll break your heart, man," He laughed. Couldn't he understand? It wasn't Ray breaking hearts; it was people like him, reducing her to a mere object of desire, the ones breaking her heart.

"Maybe her heart is broken too," I said, the words dissipating into the loud music, only earning a laugh from Jake as if I had told him the punchline to the funniest joke he'd heard.

"What would you know? A rich and pretty girl like her? Nah." The dismissive tone irked me, and I wanted to bash his face in but that would mean having to take my attention off Ray so I resisted.

What would I know? That almost made me laugh. Except for Caleb and his girlfriend, Maya, no one knew that I had known Ray since childhood. We had quickly became friends when, as a child, I visited Redcrest High for exams. I recall her being happier back then, but even then, a hint of loneliness lurked in her eyes. Time passed, I returned to my school, but she lingered at the back of my mind.

Then some years later, I learned of a game at Redcrest High. Excitement surged through me. I had made up various scenarios in my mind of what it would be like when we would finally reunite after so many years. However, the lively, hyper girl I remembered had changed, replaced by a mere shell of her former self. She had seemingly forgotten me, and as much as I yearned to approach her, I held back. Months later, I found myself having to move to Redcrest High which now brings me here.

She likely didn't remember me. Perhaps I was just another boy she had met, a paragraph in her story. But to me, she was the entire chapter. I couldn't forget her.

Every day, I sit with her, unable to look away. I knew I wasn't the only one. Others were also captivated by her allure. She was so beautiful it hurt. Sometimes it even pissed me off how she could capture my attention effortlessly without even trying. It was frustrating that she didn't even know the effect she had on other people.

I see her. Sometimes, it feels like I'm the only one who does. It's infuriating that no one else can see how much pain she is in, even when it's glaringly obvious. It's like they purposely don't want to see. Initially, she wore a carefully crafted mask to deceive everyone, but gradually, it started to slip, it started to crumble. Yet, people just turned a blind eye to the signs.

I felt an overwhelming urge to help, comfort, and protect her and I will gladly do so as long as she allows me to. I can only hope that I'm not too late.