Burnt Out

☆Fight, flight or freeze☆

Ray

I felt free.

Maybe even happy.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been dancing, but my feet were starting to protest. Despite the pain, I continued. At least while I was dancing I didn't have to think about anything else.

Everything around me was a hazy blur. I knew I had consumed a considerable amount of alcohol, but at this point, I had practically become immune to hangovers. I recalled a time when I was drinking with Seren, and the next day, while she suffered from a severe hangover, I was completely unaffected. She had playfully asked me my secret to becoming immune to alcohol and I had just laughed along with her. Of course I couldn't tell her that my tolerance was so high because I often drowned myself in alcohol to forget about the pain.

A while later, I found myself searching for the bathroom. In my intoxicated state, I stumbled into a room, only to realize it wasn't where I intended to go. As I turned to leave, the door slammed shut, and footsteps approached. Squinting in the darkness, I tried to identify the person.

"Jake?"

"Ray... Don't you know it's not safe for girls to wander alone, especially when they're drunk? Anyone could easily take advantage of you," Jake said in a disapproving tone.

What the fuck was he going on about?

He walked towards me, and as he closed the distance between us, I attempted to move away but he grabbed my wrist, pulling me closer.

"But I'm not like that. I actually care about you. You know that, right?" The moonlight shone on him revealing a side of him I had never seen before. His eyes were wild, and his behaviour was erratic, almost crazy.

"You know that, right?" he repeated, more aggressively this time.

The alcohol in my system slowed my movements, making everything feel sluggish. It was challenging to keep up with what was happening. With a slight struggle, I snatched my wrist away and pushed him, creating some distance between us.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I shouted.

He let out a harsh, audible breath, followed by a humorless laugh. "Why can't you see that I'm the only one who cares about you?"

I was left speechless, shocked at Jake's sudden change in behavior. He had always been sweet and respectful, and now it seemed like he had transformed into a completely different person.

After a pause, he spoke again, "It's okay. You'll realize soon that I'm the only one who cares about you. You have to," With that, he lunged at me, pushing me onto the bed.

In the face of physical or emotional pain, or a traumatic incident, our sympathetic nervous system has three responses: fight, flight, or freeze.

I always thought I would fight.

I've been boxing since I was 12, trained by Scar and sometimes even Seren, both exceptional boxers, I had envisioned countless scenarios of what it would be like if I were ever in danger. I wasn't too concerned; in fact, I had imagined exactly how I would fight and take down my opponent.

I never thought that I would freeze.

Jake had me pinned to the bed with the weight of his body, making me unable to move. His hands roamed all over my body.

"Stop," I sobbed out.

"I know you want this, slut, or else you wouldn't have worn this tiny dress. How did you expect me not to take you when you look like this."

Freeze.

He forcefully pushed my legs apart. I could feel him grinding on me. I could feel him touching me.

Freeze.

My body was frozen.

My head felt heavy.

Fight.

Why can't I lift my head up. I want to lift my head up.

Fight.

Exerting every ounce of strenght, I forced my head upward. In the struggle, my skull collided with Jake's with an unexpected amount of force and the impact of my head meeting his elicited a groan of pain from him. He recoiled, clutching his head in pain.

Flight.

In that fleeting moment, I seized the opportunity to break free. With an abrupt jerk, I propelled my body off the bed and made a desperate run for the door. Yet, his fingers snagged my ankle, sending me crashing to the ground. The impact resonated through my back and I knew a bruise would form. He straddled me, hands tightening around my neck, an evil grin contorting his face.

"Who are you running to? Hayden? You're mine, Ray," he spat with venom.

Flight.

With an adrenaline-fueled surge, I bucked my hips, flinging him off me. I sprinted towards the door, this time managing a successful escape. Amidst the party, my erratic running drew no attention. Perhaps, it was for the better. No one would ever know about this. That way I could just forget about what happened. A secret to bury, a trauma to forget.

Casting a quick glance backward to ensure he wasn't following me, I breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly, I collided with someone, stumbling backward. Bracing myself for the inevitable fall, I shut my eyes, only to feel a pair of arms enveloping me, catching me before I could fall.

The sound of a familiar voice urged me to open my eyes, only to find a familiar blonde, "Watch where you're going princess."

Zeeks lips were quirked up and he was watching me with mild amusement, but as his eyes scanned my face his expression became serious.

"Is everything okay?"

I opened my mouth, to lie and say that everything was fine, like I always did, but nothing came out.

Suddenly I was pulled away from him and into a warm embrace.

"What the fuck are you doing with Ray?" Hayden's voice cut through, his tone a mix of irritation, curiosity and jealousy?

"Calm down, rich boy," Zeek retorted, rolling his eyes.

Hayden emitted a sound that was a blend of a scoff and a laugh. "You're rich too."

The entire exchange was causing my head to throb.

"Hayden, can you please drop me home?"

At the the sound of my voice their banter immediately ceased, as if remembering that I was there. Hayden nodded and softly held my hand, leading me out of the house and to his car. He opened the car door for me. No words were exchanged. Perhaps he sensed that I didn't feel like talking. I couldn't talk. It felt like there was a huge knot in my throat making it impossible for me to speak.

Everything felt heavy. My heart felt heavy. My eyes felt heavy and I fought to keep them open, but eventually, exhaustion claimed me.

And then, darkness overtook me.