Random thoughts about random things

The past reminds me...

November 26, 2023
Everything we went through only taught me how important I need to be to myself.
You wanted her to break me and well she didn't break me but taught me another lesson. She taught me patience and how to love and let go without really moving on. I still love her even tho we aren't together anymore. It's been months and I'm still struggling at the want to be with her but understanding how she feels and leaving it be. I don't want to move on but I know I've had to let go. She's free to do whatever and I'll experience it in my own happy ever after. One that takes part in my lone life with friends mainly and maybe some funner things. Lol... but moving on.
I'm trying to go on and live day by day focusing on myself no matter how difficult it gets... but obviously I still think of you, too. Late night calls turned into lonely sleepless nights. The nightmares have faded mostly but new ones have started recently which suck. I got through the hardest month of the year for me mostly lol. I'm well on my way now... and I don't need to go backwards. Focusing on myself might be the only way I can be okay. Being alone might be better overall even tho I crave a relationship or the simplicities of being with someone.
I'm happy that you're happy and I'm happy that I'm happy with everything that's happened and where I am mentally today. We're getting there. Almost 1 yr clean of SH and everything. I'm okay. Everything's working out.