Cartman the conductor of the Polar Express rides through dimensions and picks up characters from different shows and rides them to Christmas town for one of them to be chosen to receive the first gift of christmas. Starring Hannibal, Bojack, Luz, Jo...
Alana stares at Dora, in disbelief to see a two dimensional character in real life. Dora notices Alana's starring and greets her. "Hola! soy, Dora!!" Alana and the rest of the group are absolutely terrified. "The fuck are you starring at bitch?" The child looks off into the distance and talks to no one. "Can you say "mind you god damn business?""
The Hannibal cast is stunned, absolutely speechless. They have NO idea what's going on. They don't even know how this child isn't terrified too, but she just thinks it's another Christmas special. She's also used to seeing people from completely different media's because she was in that one paramount plus ad.
The Hannibal cast continues to stare. "I'm just trying to have a civil and PRIVATE conversation with my friend boots." She gestures to the monkey sitting next to her, the monkey waves at the group but dora pulls his arm down. "Talk amongst yourselves, creeps!" The group is a bit.....unable to talk amongst themselves. Seeing as Jack and Hannibal just tried to kill each other. Alana was almost killed by both Hannibal and Abigail. And Will just saw his friend fall out of a window, along with everyone except Hannibal witnessing Abigail's presence, thinking she'd been dead for a WHILE.
The group all look at each other awkwardly. then they decide to move on from Dora and Boots and instead eavesdrop on the seats behind Dora, containing three people. Nicolas Cantu, Dream, and their uber driver. The Hannibal cast is relived to see more three dimensional people until they hear their conversation.
"—but i think you're really drunk" says dream
Nicolas snaps back. "I'm not- I'm like this because of my adhd, autism, i'm neurodivergent—"
Dream interrupts "I have adhd too!" Dream scoffs
"Right, 'cause you said THATS WHAT THE MASK IS😫 I think you're a f*gg*t."
The Hannibal cast immediately looks away. "Right. Well then, they're having a great ol' time..." Alana says. "I would really like to get off this train." Jack sighs. Hannibal turns to Nicolas. "You really shouldn't be insulting people with such vulgar and offensive words. Especially with the type of history behind it." Says Hannibal, but Nicolas does not have it. "SHUT UP, PEOPLE EATER!" Oj from nope (also known as Hobie Browns voice actor) overhears the word "people eater" Oj starts hyperventilating and repeating a series of words over, and over again. "One eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater....One eyed, one horned flying purple people eater........" "The fuck are you blabbing about?" asks Karkat Vantas.
Oj rushes over to the emergency button, panting and crying. He clicked the button over, and over, screaming "CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" Hatsune Miku yells from a distance "shut up!" but Oj continues.
"CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM, CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM!!!" Josh Hutcherson steps out of his seat "Dude, YOUR the problem😐."
But Oj continues until Eric Cartman the conductor finally walks through the door. "WHHHAAAAT!!???" Oj confesses to The conductor "There an alien above us!" "You mean, among us??" ask the conductor. "No!" yells Oj, "ABOVE us." He says while pointing up a finger. No one believes him, until the lights start flickering and everyone hears a loud groan above the train that shakes the entire section of seats. "Howleey shiiiiit." Say The conductor.
They need to figure out wtf that is. IMMEDIATELY. "Alright asshowls." The conductor grabs everyone's attention. "We need two volunteers!" No one raises their hand, all shaking their head eagerly. All except Hannibal, Jack, and Will who are raising their hands. The conductor squints his eyes and guides his finger through the air pointing people "Hmmm...hmmm.." He completely ignores the Hannibal cast. "How about that guy he told me I was the problem!" Oj suggests. "Yeah sure! And uhhmmm oh yeah Dora you too." "DIOS FOLLANDO MALDITA PERRA!" Dora swears.
"Ohwkey whores, your job is to climb on the roof—" The conductor says while opening a window. "—And figure out what the hell that is." Dora and Josh Hutcherson both groan and say the same thing at the same time.
They both climb on the roof and see this fucking thing (his name is Jean Jacket :3)
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"Oh HELLLLLL no!" Dora says, running back to the window. But it was too late. Jean Jacket was hungry. It started inhaling, raising Dora from the ground. Josh quickly grabs onto her with one hand, and with the other he held onto the edge of the train, pulling back towards the window. He steps one foot back in but suddenly looses control of Dora. Sending her up into the dark abyss that is Jean Jackets throat. Josh looks back up from the window and screams "DORAAAAA! NOOOOOO!"
Josh Hutcherson climbs back into the train and sobs. "Where's Dora?" Asks Boots. "Boots.....I'm so sorry...." Josh confesses. "There will be no more exploring for you...."
