THE POLAR EXPRESS a multi-fandom parody

Chapter Four: Somethings In The Way

Josh yells at William "What are you doing here?! leave!" Josh then tries to attack him but then William makes a peace sign and disappears into thin air.

Back inside the train. The conductor is sitting peacefully in the control room until, "STOP THE TRAIN!! STOP THE TRAIN!!! STOP THE MOTHERFUCKING TRAIN!!!!" Hearing this, the conductor quickly pulls the breaks. "Huggghhh... what's going on now."
The conductor climbs to the front of the train to meet The cat in the hat, Karkat, and Dave, Karkat and dave making out. "The hell are you two doing here?!" The conductor asks. "Just hanging out." Dave answers. "Well one of you needs to leave 'cause there's no room for me to stand."

Dave frowns and leaves Karkat. Then the conductor turns to the Cat in the hat. "So what's the problem?" The Cat points to all of the deer blocking the train tracks. Lmao Hannibal reference. Y'know cause they're deer? I'll stop. "NEOOOOO!" Yells the conductor. "What do we do neow!" "I dunno" The cat says. "Damn y'all are all useless, where are we gonna find someone who speaks deer?" Karkat asks.

Hannibal, who is all the way in the back of the train, senses Karkats wishes. Hannibal reaches under the seat and grabs his motorcycle. "When did you get time to pack that?!" Will asks. Then Will looks at Hannibal who is somehow dressed in all leather and has a helmet on. "Bye" Hannibal says, climbing out the window onto the roof.

Hannibal rides up the train. Josh sees him coming and screams very high pitched. As Hannibal rides past he picks Josh up and places him behind himself and continues to the front of the train. "I am here." Hannibal announces to the conductor, the Cat, and Karkat. "NO GET OUT! THERES NO ROOM!" The conductor screams. Hannibal then drops down where there is clearly room. "Do not fear, for i speak deer." He rhymes.

"Alright!" The Cat in the hat cheers. The three get ready to hear a completely different, exotic, unique, new language. Until  Hannibal opens his mouth and just says. "Move, bitch." To a deer. All the deer collectively move out of the way. The three others are disappointed, then shocked that all the deer are off the tracks. The conductor leaves. Then Josh jumps down onto the platform. Josh looks at Hannibal proud. They stare at each other for a while, then Hannibal leaves. Leaving Josh disappointed. "Are you seriously in love with that guy? He look's ancient." Says Karkat. "Yeah, and i need him in my museum." Josh answers

Back inside the train. Pupina Notices three minions sitting across from her. Her eyes widen and her jaw drops, tears forming in her eyes. She audibly gasps and jumps backwards, back hitting the window. The minions look at her confused. Pupina start's hyperventilating on the verge of a panic attack.

Until her crush donald trump sits next to her.  (he doesn't deserve to be on the character cast) "Trump?!?!?!" Pupina gasps. The man side eyes her and makes room for joe biden who then starts making out with trump. Pupina is stunned, then disgusted, then jealous of someone taking her man. But then she realizes because of the two blocking the way she can no longer see the minions, then she is relived.

Suddenly, Mr. Grouper, a very non political fish sees these two corrupt political figures and screams in anger. He then jumps out of a window, falling into the snow never to be seen again. And to be swallowed by the cold, freezing to death, and never getting to witness christmas town. Dipper pines spots the fish. "That fish just died!" He yells while pointing, trying to get people to help the fish.

"In order for there to be life, there must be death." Says Bill Cypher.

Authors note: Sorry for the short chapter lmao you'll live.