Study Hearts || JohnTen

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,10

(Don't worry about the chapter name. It totally has nothing to do with hte fact that im making ten insecure asf so he feels excluded but instead of naming chapter ten "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,11" i i named it something else so i went with the classic dad joke (as a female teenager) and yeah)

Ten's steps faltered, the words stinging like a slap. He retreated, fighting back tears as their laughter haunted him. A few stray tears leaked. He covered them up and tried his best not to look upset, walking back with a cheerful smile. 

"Ah your back!" Johnny's mom said cheerfully. He sat down and forced his food down. Ten slowly nodded as he managed to form a few words, praying to god that his voice doesnt break.

"Mhm.. i think i'm done with eating. It was delicious." He bowed and walked away, putting his dish in the dishwasher. He couldn't eat anymore. He forbid himself. He hated the way he looked, but that comment struck him in the chest. Johnny finished after him, they both walked to his room together.

"Ten."
"Yes?"
"You.. you looked like you cried."
"I didn't."
"Ten. Don't lie."
"It doesnt matter."
"Ten. You matter."

Ten fought back tears. "I don't. Can we start the project."
"Ten. Look at me."
"Lets start the project."
"Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul," Johnny's voice softened, yet held a firm edge, "forget the project for one second and meet my eyes, okay?"

Ten's gaze slowly lifted, his eyes glistened with tears.

"You matter to everyone. I know you've probably heard that a million times, but you matter to everyone." He cupped his face and wiped away tens tears with his thumb. "Everyone needs you, you might not realize it but everyone will love you no matter what. Plus, who am i supposed to beat if you leave me, us, your family?" 

"I.. i really am worthless... i don't deserve anyone.. i'm just placing a burden on everyone.. i.. it's better off if i just killed myself."

A pained expression crossed Johnny's face as he enveloped Ten in an embrace, pulling him onto his lap "Oh.. oh ten.." Ten's heart already skipped a beat from Johnny holding his face, but johnny was making this condition even worse. "Tennie.. please don't ever say that.." His voice was laced with guilt and sadness. "Please.. you aren't better off that way.. you.. we'd.. we'd all be upset.. you can't let Kulisara on her own as well, shes 15, but she needs her brother.. your parents, your parents need you.. i.. need you.. the whole world needs you..."

Ten stayed silent as the words etched into his mind. "Thank.. thank you.." He buried his face into Johnny's chest, growing comfortable in this position. This is so comfortable... he thought. A sense of peace crept in, lulling him to sleep.