planetary

neptune

N E P T U N E

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Pitch black, pale blue

There was a stained-glass, variation of the truth

And I felt empty-handed

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Neptune: The Planet of Illusion

Dreams, illusion, abstract thought, and the mysterious are all governed by Neptune. Our spirituality is important to this planet, and how we harness that energy for our personal betterment.

illusions

Taehyung has been living through an illusion. Illusions can be found in our lives in different forms. They can be illusions of the better, or illusions of the worse.

What's certain is that Taehyung has not only learned but understood with the help of his friend that he trapped himself inside an endless illusion of the worst.

It is two am, and his eyes are stuck on the stained ceiling of his dorm room. Yoongi was in his own bed on the other side of the room, sleeping.

Taehyung is an early bed person, but tonight he can't fall asleep, no matter how hard he tries, his mind wanders.

It wanders to his childhood, his parents, and his childhood friends, then he regrets. He regrets not keeping in touch with many people, he regrets not visiting his mother as often as he could. They've never been a well-off family, but they've been happy together. Taehyung rolls on his right side and looks at the wall by his bed. There are posters of volleyball players, and the image reminds him of his childhood room.

It was spring and their parents had painted the walls fresh, in a fainted green color, Taehyung's favorite. He still remembers the saddened look his father had on his face when he covered all the walls in the bedroom with new posters of his favorite volleyball players. He was fourteen at the time, and he didn't understand, but whenever he removed one poster, the tape would take some of the paint with it, ruining his father's work. Yet, the older man has never said a word about it to Taehyung.

He knew it made his kid happy, and so he said nothing and moved forward, instead of making a big deal out of it. It was only later that Taehyung understood that each person showed him they loved him in their different, unique way. That was his father's.

But Taehyung hasn't seen him in months. Maybe growing up and being apart from his family gave Taehyung a new sense of freedom, it gave him the opportunity to understand life.

But now that he is aware of different particularities, he wishes to go visit them. He wants to thank them for being kind and supportive of his dream, despite their lack of money. And most importantly, he wants to have them meet Jungkook.

Sorting out things in his life is not going to be easy, but for the past few weeks, specifically, since he has told Yoongi the truth about him and Jungkook, there was a shift in him that he couldn't shake off. He feels like a different person, he wants to improve, to start understanding things, to look back with a happy smile on his face. In order to do that he has to take things one by one, and maybe even write in his journal in a way more organized way.

It is almost three in the morning, but he stands up from the bed and turns on his lamp by his bed hoping Yoongi won't wake up. He takes out his journal and starts to take notes, tongue stuck between his teeth.

He has to meet his parents again, talk to his mom, then to his dad, visit his grandparents, meet Jungkook's (if he wants), clean his wardrobe, get a summer job, talk to Jungkook about it all, and... Yoongi. He needs and wants to talk to Yoongi.