Letters: A Tokka Fanfic

5

Toph's P.O.V:

I was in the back practicing my bending when I felt Katara approach me. I continued, needing to get rid of some of my frustration and knowing that with Sweetness I didn't have to say a thing and she'd still butt into my business. To my surprise, she took up a sparring stance across from me, and I smiled. With a slight shift of my feet I assessed her position, quickly throwing up a defense against her water whips and retaliating with a few good sized boulders. We continued on for a while before Katara called for a tea break. I was going to stay out and keep practicing without her, but she's not one to allow the whole lone-wolf attitude. If I'm honest, I really just missed hanging out with her. She was one of the few people I was comfortable talking to, and as much as I hated to admit it, I could use a sounding board.

I sat at the small stone table in my kitchen while Katara puttered around with the teapot. Not like I was gonna be much help with it. I didn't say anything while she got everything ready for us, not even really sure how to approach the topic. I wasn't dumb, I knew that she rushed over here to make sure I was okay with the whole marriage thing and quite possibly to talk me out of it if need be. Honestly, even I knew that it sounded a little ridiculous. It's not like I was really marriage material by most standards, and everyone knows how much I hate someone trying to make me out to be some damsel in distress. That's just never been me. Still, Satoru didn't seem like he'd do that, and I mean it's better him than someone worse down the road or something. It's not really a bad deal.

"So Toph..." She placed my tea in front of me before sitting down with her own, her voice cautious as though she were approaching a wild animal. Eh, close enough really.

"It's ok Katara, just spit it out."

"Are you seriously going to go through with it? I mean Satoru is nice and all but he's not exactly your type is he? And in general I mean an arranged marriage? That doesn't really sound like you. I know you wanna make your parents happy but what about what you want? What about marrying for love and all that?"

"Katara, you know why that's not an option. And you're right, Satoru is kinda wimpy and all, but he respects me at least and he's not too annoying. That's better than most people. I'm not just doing this for my parents. I mean sure I don't want them to have to worry about me being alone forever, but I'm also tired of waiting for something that will never happen. I'm tired of wasting my time. It's time to move on— to move forward. Maybe one day I'll learn to like Satoru, but even if I don't, at least I'll have someone. I know that might not make sense to you since you've had Aang all this time, but I don't have some childhood love to live happily ever after with." My voice shook as I spoke, but my expression remained neutral. I wanted it to be okay. I needed it to be the right choice. If Katara told me not to go through with it, I think I'd probably listen, but I can't keep living in the past. Not anymore. Especially not now.

"Do you still love him?" Her voice was quiet—soothing as she tried to avoid upsetting me. I hated it. But I loved her for caring.

"Does it really matter?" I smiled ruefully at her, a sense of resignation overtaking me. It wasn't a new feeling, just a reminder of so many years hoping for the impossible. I knew it wasn't like me to give up. I knew it probably seemed crazy out of character for me to suddenly decide to get married. But if I was being honest with myself, I was tired of being alone. Satoru knows I don't feel the same and he's still willing to try—unlike someone else I know.

"What good is waiting for love when I'm the only one that's even given it a thought?" Katara was quiet for a second and I sighed. She knows better than anyone how little thought Sokka gave to me. I knew there wasn't much that she could really say.

"I told him I wouldn't fix things for him and I won't. But you should know before you make any decisions that he really is serious about making things right. He doesn't know how to right now, but he wants to try. I know it's not the same, and I won't tell you to wait for him, but he hasn't stopped caring about you." I swallowed hard, fighting against the lump in my throat.

"I can't let his guilt make me lose sight of reality again. Hope hurts Katara. No matter what he does now, it won't miraculously change how he's seen me all these years. I'll always be the best friend—tough little Toph. I won't start reading into his every word again, waiting for his mind to change." My mouth was dry as I spoke, the words like sand in my mouth.

"I just don't want you to make a decision you'll regret. Putting aside my idiot brother, do you really think you'll be happy with Satoru?"

"I'll be safe with Satoru, Katara. Safe and loved. What more can I really ask for?" I could tell she had more she wanted to say, but I quickly gulped down the lukewarm tea in my hands and headed back outside to train some more, leaving Katara at the table without another word.

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