Where Does the Red String Go? -Miraculous Ladybug AU Soulmates

Chapter 15- Panic Attack

Marinette's POV

My first reaction is laughter.

"Why would he cheat on me?" I say, wheezing for breath. "I'm his soulmate!" Unless...

Adrien raises his eyebrows, looking at me in disbelief. "Seriously Marinette? You're not going to believe anything bad about Luka? Does he have an ex-girlfriend or something at least? Because I was sure I saw a blonde-haired girl with blue eyes." he says.

My laughter fades away in an instant. It couldn't be. Zoe. Why would Luka sleep with his ex-girlfriend? Why would he cheat on me? Tears start to well on my face. It was because I was his worstmate, right? Zoe was his soulmate and I was too pathetic as a girlfriend.

The reality of the situation threatens to crush me. Why did I ever think that I was worthy enough as a soulmate? The tears fall down my cheeks as my shoulders shake. I was pathetic. A stuttering, clumsy mess.

A cool breeze tingles my cheeks from my open window, seeming like ice-cold daggers in my bones. I honestly didn't blame Luka, he had so much better girls to choose from. A heavy weight seems to press on my chest, my breaths come in short, sharp gasps. I was having a panic attack.

I had many during my primary school, mainly because of the stress of getting good grades. Chloe was also a significant part of it, there was some days when I could barely walk because of her tripping me. That's why it never surprised me when Luka hit me, because it seemed right at home. Somehow, in every relationship I was in there was always some form of ab*se. In my friendship, there was Alya, who showed up to school in a long-sleeved shirt. In my parent's relationship, there were nights when I would stay awake listening to them fight. I couldn't escape it no matter how hard I tried.

My lungs try despretely to take down air, but it seems like their a rubber ring in them, constricting it. It was like I was breathing through a straw. My heart beats faster and faster, like drums from a marching band. I gasp sharply, wanting nothing more for it to end.

There was no cure for my panic attacks. My short-term therapist had said to count to ten, but what use was that when you could barely think? I would often have to wait for the panic to dissapate, often taking hours until it was fully rendered in my control.

It's getting really hard to even think know. I feel lightheaded, black begins to edge in my vision-

I feel someone grasp my shoulder. I didn't realize that Adrien was still there.

He envelops me in a hug, and his citrus smell of springtime engulfs me. It's nearly enough to calm me down. He doesn't say anything, just stays there until my breathing slow downs.

"My mother used to do this to me before she died." he murmurs. I raise my head. "I'm sorry." I say. "What did she die of?"

"Sickness." he says. "After her death, my father shut himself up. He didn't talk to me. Didn't talk to anyone really. Just focused on his designs and controlled me like a puppet." I nod. I had guessed as much.

We remain together for a couple minutes, not willing to let each other go. Eventually, he releases me. "Well I guess I should go now." he says awkwardly. He turns to my bedroom trapdoor, beginning to open it.

"Wait!" I call out to him, not wanting him to go so soon. "S-Same t-time t-tomorrow?" I ask, hoping he doesn't see me as desperate. Instead he smiles and nods. "Same time." he says.

He opens the trapdoor, and I get up to follow him, secretly hoping he'd stay longer. But of course I had to trip over something . Bam! my foot lodges on a piece of wood, and its sends me tumbling. My arms fly open into Adrien's as we tumble to the floor. I feel my cheek hit his chest as I let out a breathy laugh.

"S-Sorry..." I begin to say, opening my eyes. Then I realize something.

His lips are inches from mine.