a dance with cancer

two

Valentina Karas

Monday morning comes before I have time to process the news. I've heard about cancer, treatment, and the hospital more times this weekend than in the seventeen years I've been here. Tomorrow after school we're touring one of the hospitals the doctor told us to investigate. 

Horizons Children's Health Institute is a short drive from my school, putting it in a convenient location. It has the treatment my brother needs and a convincing success rate. Horizons doesn't seem too bad, but the staff aren't particularly known for a good bedside manner. When I visited sophomore year to knock out some community service hours, it felt more like a prison than a place of healing. I may have my reservations, but it didn't stop my parents from asking for a tour. Who am I to stop them? My brother has an illness that could kill him and the last thing they need is my attitude.

Today is going to be weird. My parents emailed both of our schools about the situation last night. Their Facebook comments are full of people promising to keep Ronan in their prayers, so I'm sure a few sympathetic comments from teachers are in my future. 

I hope going to school will be a distraction from all of my thoughts. Other than Katelyn, my girlfriends have no clue and I'll have to find a way to tell them. Ideally it won't come up and I can pretend to be the nonchalant and bubbly Valentina everyone knows.

Most mornings I pick up my hairbrush and work it through my pin straight hair. I'm feeling pretty tired so that part of my routine doesn't happen. I'm too out of it to cake on makeup so I curl my lashes and put a little mascara on them. This means the freckles on my nose and cheeks are out in the open. Katelyn hates me for always covering them up with concealer. 

I look around my room. It's never perfectly clean; my bed is always made and nothing on my vanity is out of place, but there are always clothes scattered around. This weekend, however, a mountain of clothes accumulated next to my bed. 

Leaving my room, I see the rest of my family in the kitchen. Mom, Dad, and Ro are having a conversation when I walk in. 

"Guys, V's done getting ready." Dad teases, giving me a hug. My dad seems like the scariest guy in the world, but his unmatched sense of humor proves everyone wrong. He's the kind of dad that jokes around with his kids but that's how he shows his love. He's several inches taller than I am, so even I'm a little intimidated by him. Timothy Karas, however, lets me know that I'm his "baby girl" every chance he gets, letting me burn holes through his pockets and fill him in on high school drama. 

Mom shakes her head. "Leave your daughter alone, Tim. Us women have to take care of business." Shania Karas, my maternal unit, doesn't fuck around. She's the kind of mom to beat up a seventeen year old girl or twelve year old boy for messing with me or Ronan. She also gave me her curves and double D boobs, both I have a love-hate relationship with. My parents couldn't be more different, but there's no denying their love for one another. 

"How are you, V?"

"Not terrible, but I've been better."

Dad nods. "I'm sure all of us are worried about Ro, but we're touring that hospital this evening." My dad is more carefree than my mom, but the news about my brother made him more serious.  

"Good to know." Ronan stirs his cereal but never eats it. He may be the younger brother, but has two or three inches on me. He reminds me of it every chance he gets. Unfortunately, leukemia is taking his ability to smile and joke around like he used to.