a dance with cancer

six

Valentina Karas

"Ronan, what did you think about St. Gabriel's?"

He replies, "It was a lot better than that other place. I felt a million times more at home there. Everyone is so nice."

"That's good."

As he sifts through my drawers, he asks, "Are you going to visit me?"

"Of course." While my friends are going to football games and parties, I'm showing up for my brother during the fight for his life. I can only imagine what's going through his mind right now as he gears up for this war against leukemia. 

While I do my makeup, Ronan pulls out a red baby tee and grey sweatpants. "Your outfit's on your bed, V." 

I glance at the folded clothes. "Thanks. You actually didn't do too badly." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ronan questions, staring at my reflection in the mirror. 

I laugh as I put brow gel on my eyebrows. "Should I surprise my friends? They're getting ready at Layla's."

"Cancer was a surprise. Go for it." He says. Ronan intended it as a joke, but we both know his diagnosis affects him more than he lets on. 

Not knowing how to reply to that, I just nod. "Are you sure you're ok with me going?"

Ronan folds his arms. "Valentina, we have the whole weekend. Plus, my treatment is going until March or April. You can see me whenever you want."

Two months from now, I'm sure he'll be tired of seeing me. 

"Alright." I say. My mom wants to take him out tomorrow, but I don't have concrete plans for one on one time with him. 

"V?" Ronan asks, sitting on my bed. I don't know who told him to do that, but I don't mind. "Who were those boys at the hospital?"

I let out a laugh. The encounter with Asher and friends was just a couple of days ago. In my mind, that happened years ago. My brother has this eidetic memory while I barely remember what I learn in school. "Just a few Mountain View kids. Why?"

"I dunno. I never got the chance to ask you." Good answer, Ro. "Do you like them?"

I contemplate my answer. Sawyer has an infectious sense of humor, and I get why Layla praises her boyfriend – Knox is genuinely sweet. Yet, it's Asher who has made a lasting impression. "Yeah. They were pretty nice."

Not to be weird, but I can't get Asher out of my head. Even though we were only together for no more than a few minutes, I felt like he genuinely wanted to talk to me, something that doesn't usually happen because boys often overlook me for Katelyn. 

It's like comparing a diamond to a pebble. The diamond is so stunning everyone stops to look at it while pebbles are kicked to the side. I stopped trying to compete with her a long time ago because the beautiful diamond always wins.

"Valentina, you silly girl." Ronan retorts. "Were any of them cute? I'll take it to the grave." 

I hesitate. I normally tell my little brother everything, but his question doesn't have an answer just yet. "I don't know. Sawyer and Knox have girlfriends, so they're off the table," is the best I can do. To spare my brother's feelings, I leave out the identity of Sawyer's situationship.

"There were three of them."

"Sorry?"

Ronan gives me a blank stare. "Oh, Valentina. You must think leukemia made me stupid. The Mexican guy was making you blush a lot. Do you like him?"