Diabolik Lovers Crack

First day

"Hey, wake up," I heard a soft, silent voice calling to me. And after a few moments, I felt someone's hand on the back of my lower part of the neck.  Here's a thing about me. I'm really sensitive/ticklish, and my body reacts two ways. Uno: I will start laughing hysterically. Or dos:

"HANDS OFF MAN I KNOW KUNG FU !!!" I instantly jumped out of my sleep, showing uncoordinated, so-called kung fu moves. 

"Ahhhh" scream, then 'bump' sound. I blinked a few times. A young girl was on the floor beside my bed.

"Oh, it's you. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Sometimes it happens when someone tries to wake me up." I scratched the back of my head

"I-It's okay," the blonde said to me with a smile. She stood up and straightened her skirt. "Good morning, Umm... Reiji-san sent me here to tell you to get dressed and come down to meet others in front of the mansion. We'll be going to school."

"...."

"...."

"7 more hours. Pleeeeeeaaaaaase, " I mumbled, pressing my face into a pillow. 

"You can't go back to sleep. Reiji- san-"

I sat up on my bed and sighed.

"You tell him to mind his own damn business before I come down there and I beat his ass," I pressed my face into the pillow again. 'Wow, I really sound like a thug when I'm threatening somebody. '

"Please wake up. Reiji-san will get mad if you don't get dressed. He might even drag you to dungeons and punish you. " In a blonde girl's voice, I could hear fear and concern. We just met. Why is she so worried?

"Okay, but I'm doing this because you asked me nicely. Umm... Yui? Right?"

"Y-Yes. And you Kaya?"

"That's my name," I said with a smile.

The school uniform was laid out on my bed. White shirts, black skirt, Uuuu I love this jacket and pink ribbon, white ribbon. Two ribbons? What? And then I remembered what all the boys were wearing when I first saw them... 'These people need Ralph Lauren.'

 I started changing my clothes. 

"So, Yui, how did you end up in a place like this ?"

"Well, my father had to go on a trip for his work. So he said that I should go and live in this house with some relatives I don't know. And. Well... you see what happened." She lowered her eyes and looked at her feet. I felt sad for her. She seems to be a shy, good-hearted girl, and I bet from the whole world's money that those dumb dums feel satisfaction in making others depressed. Hehehe.. dum dums. 'Dum dum.' 'Yeah?' 'Give me a gum gum.'

" Why are you smiling ?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I just remembered something," I said. 

"Does it still hurt?"

"What?"

"Your head," She pointed to my forehead 

"Oh. No, it doesn't hurt. I'm fine." 'That tree is going down.'

So I started to get dressed up. I got my black flat shoes. Didn't put on those stupid ribbons. And I didn't button up the first and second buttons. I made a bun from my long brown hair and just let my side bangs fall free.

"Okay. I'm ready to go to school." 'Please God, kill me.'

****

We made our way down the stairs and walked towards the main door. 

"Did you ever ask those guys why vampires need to go to school ?"

"No. I don't really question them." 

"Don't you think it's like 'Twilight'. You know, vampire boys are going to school. Falls in love with a human girl. Then most of the time they stare at each other."

"I guess so."

We opened the door and saw all the boys waiting for us.

"Finally. What took you two so long ?" Reiji asked irritated

"Well, we chased a white rabbit running towards the forest. Then we fell into a rabbit pit. Drank tea with a mad hatter. Met the happy, creepy-smile cat. Went to Queen of Hearts' castle. Got chased by weird-looking card soldiers. Drank the tasteless potion and got back home." Boys looked at me with annoyed, confused faces. Reiji gave that famous death glare.... Again.

"Ah, Reiji-san. Please forgive her. She's just joking. We're sorry to keep you waiting. We didn't mean that." She lowered her head.

"Can't we just kill that girl! She has been here for almost two days, and I can't stand her !" Subaru said it with closed eyes. I could see how his knuckles got whiter from clenching his fist.

"Subaru is right !" Ayato agreed with him.

"Hey! I'm still here!" I shouted

"Shut it !" Ayato glared at me

"I will shut your mouth with my foot," I mumbled to myself.

"What was tha-?"

"We can't kill her," Reiji cut off Ayato, "That man said she must stay alive. Don't ask me why? I don't understand why he made this kind of decision."  

"Tch. She is just a waste of time."

"I love you too, baby." I gave Subaru a wink. His eyes for a second, and then he turned away. But I could swear I saw a blush on his face.

I heard a car sound, and then I saw A REAL LIMO. I mean, like a limo from the movies. Holy mother of cars. The car stopped next to us. Laito opened the back seat door. All the boys were about to get in the car when I suddenly ...

"I CALL SHOTGUN !!!" I shouted and ran to the passenger seat beside the driver. But then I felt someone grab the collar of my shirt and lift me.

"No one is sitting in the front seat. You're going with us in the back of the car," Reiji said while dragging me to the limo's back door. 

"Oh, come on, Reiji."

"No"

"Yes"

"Please cooperate with me, or you will be punished."

"Cooperation sounds good! " I got in the car, which took us to school.