Don't Catch Me!

Chapter 27 - Pity Party

Chapter 27 - Pity Party

I opened my sleepy eyes.  The room was unfamiliar.  A lot of things were unfamiliar.  The tears started again.  I pulled the sheet up and wallowed in self pity.

“You promised,” a soft voice filtered through the sheet.

In surprise I spun to face him.  He was sitting on a chair watching me.  He was dressed simply in a t-shirt and jeans.  His eyes were red and starting at me. 

“You promised,” he repeated.

“I promised?” I echoed his words without thinking about it.

“Yes,” his eyes were so full with pain and glassy, “You promised you would forgive me.  You said you would forgive me anything.  You said you loved me and would forgive me.”

“Yeah, and you said you loved me!” I threw back at him and watched him blanch.  “You don’t love me. You have never loved me.  It has never been about me!  It’s always been about her.”

His whole face crumbled.  He looked away from me for a minute before turning back.  “You are wrong.  You have never been so wrong.  Why can’t you see me? Why are you so sharp with everything else but when it comes to me you just don’t see me?”

“Gavin knew didn’t he?”  I watched Joel focus on his hands and nod just enough.  “Yeah you are right.  Gavin worked it out and I was just gullible.  How did you find me?”  I looked around the room I had no idea where I was, so how did he find me?

“The watch.  I can track you through the Dimension Opener.  Cissy we need to talk about this.  You need to listen to me.”

I sat up in the bed with my back to him.  I looked at the watch and contemplated taking it off.  Then I thought better of it.  I would need to keep it on if I was going to get home and that was suddenly a priority.  Yes, home was where I need to be now.  I wanted to go home.

“Cissy, please believe me this is not what you think.  I love you.  You are everything to me.”

“And what about her?  You love her right?  The only reason you looked at me was because of her, you wanted me because I was her.”

“Yes and no, Cissy.  I won’t lie to you, I have always loved you.  But that’s where it got confusing.  You aren’t the same.  You are different.  You had a different upbringing.  I fell in love with you.”  He rubbed his forehead.  “Look at me Cissy, can’t you see that it is you I love!”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I have wanted to tell you.  I just didn’t know how to tell you.  At first I couldn’t believe it.  I mean every morning I woke up with you in my arms I had to remind myself of where I was.”  He stopped as I let a small sob out.  “I am doing this all wrong.  When I took this job no one had ever run into anyone from our dimension.  The odds were so low.”

“And yet here I am.  What a miracle!” I huffed sarcastically through my tears.

“Yes you are.  I can’t tell you how much I fought to avoid this.  But I was drawn to you.  I wanted to know you, to find out all the things that I didn’t know about you.  And I did.  And then and only then did I love you.”

“So, are you saying that you don’t love her?”

“I did love her.  And yes you are the same and completely different all at once.  I can’t explain it properly.”

“Joel, I am going to get dressed and then I am going to leave.  It’s time I went back to my own dimension. “

“No.”