There's Snow Place Like Home For The Holidays

Heart-To-Heart

     Win was tucking a very sleepy Tess into bed when she let her inquisitiveness flow. "Daddy, is Uncle Bright your boyfriend?"

     Win wasn't expecting the question, and he was already frayed at the edges because of the long night of conflicting emotions when it came to Bright and Win couldn't help the slight flush that tinted his cheeks at the question. "No, little bug. Bright and I are just friends," he said with a sigh. He didn't know if the sigh was due to the constant flux of emotions or simple wistfulness at the deep internal desire that his answer could be different. Win was trying so hard to deny that desire existed at all, but Bright kept doing things to remind him it was in there, and it was driving Win in emotional circles.

     Tess frowned. "But he kissed you, Daddy. At the dinner, I saw him kiss you," she said with a confused lilt to her voice.

     Win internally groaned. He had hoped that no one had seen that, but evidently it was too much to hope for. "I was standing under mistletoe, little bug. It's a Christmas tradition to kiss someone if you both stand under the mistletoe," he explained.

     Tess nodded. "Yes daddy, I know what mistletoe is. I've seen the movies with mistletoe where two people get caught under it and everyone chants kiss, kiss, kiss while the two people under it blush and eventually give a kiss on the cheek, but it wasn't like that. You were under there alone and Uncle Bright joined you under the mistletoe, and no one saw you there to make you kiss, and he didn't kiss you on the cheek, daddy. He kissed you on the lips like Uncle Tay kisses Uncle Newwie."

     "I think it's just because he noticed me under there and thought it would be better if I was kissed by a friend than it would be to be kissed by a stranger if someone noticed me before he did," Win tried to justify what had happened.

     "But if that's the case, then why didn't he just pull you out from under it instead of kissing you, daddy, if he didn't have to. Doesn't that mean he wanted to?" she asked.

     Win's stomach somersaulted at the thought. The idea had sputtered through his brain on and off since the kiss, but he kept on bypassing the thought process before it could take root and Tess saying it out loud was sprouting little vines of hope through Win's brain. Win tried to reel the vines back in, trying to remember that he shouldn't be hoping for this at all. "Maybe he just didn't think about that, little bug," trying to find a rationalization that calmed his own sprouts along with sating Tess' curiosity.

     Tess nodded and sighed a little sadly. "Okay, daddy."

     Win furrowed his brow. "What is the pout for, Tess?"

     Tess shrugged her shoulders. "I like the idea of Uncle Bright being your boyfriend, daddy, because if he's your boyfriend now then maybe someday you'll be husbands like Uncle Tay and Uncle Newwie. I think that would be a good thing because he treats you more special than I've ever seen anyone treat you and it makes me happy. You also get really happy when you are around him, too. You don't look so tired when he's around and you smile more and you're more shimmery, daddy. I just feel like he's strong and safe, like no one else can hurt us when he's around, and I like the idea of him being my second daddy," she explained.

     Win's stomach twisted because he felt the same way. Like Bright was this beautiful, all-encompassing shield built for the sole purpose of protecting Win and the ones most important to his heart. It made Win's heart ache as he realized how much he wanted what he couldn't have, and how he shouldn't want to have, either. Boyfriends, girlfriends, and spouses were conversations to have with the Ghost of Christmas Future, not the Ghost of Christmas Present.

     Win ran his fingers through her hair. "He can still be all those things, even if we are just friends, Tess. He's a part of this family, regardless of what kind of relationship he and I have, okay?"