Underneath The Moonlit Night

Chapter 23 - Whispered Ties, Fragile Connections

Lan Xichen's smile broadened as he continued walking, and Qing Yi couldn't help but feel the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He was surprised that the Clan Leader himself was willing to bend the rules to ensure his safe return. In response, Qing Yi offered a grateful smile and a touch of playful humor, "Well, this is surprising. I never expected the esteemed Clan Leader of the Gusu Lan Sect to occasionally break one of their sacred rules."

Lan Xichen's laughter was soft but genuine. "It's not just tonight. I've been doing this for some time now. Occasionally, I stroll in the gardens or sit on one of the balconies and play my flute, even though playing music at night is also prohibited. The tranquil night air clears my mind and brings me peace." He looked over to Qing Yi and added, "The Gusu Lan Sect Leader is still human, after all. I'm not as perfect as some may think."

Walking side by side with Lan Xichen, Qing Yi smiled and replied, "Well said. I wish you had told me that when we first met. It might have saved me from thinking I had offended you that day."

Lan Xichen halted his steps, his gaze puzzled. He appeared somewhat troubled as he responded, "Offended me? I don't recall you ever offending me, or perhaps my memory fails me."

In response, Qing Yi offered a knowing smile, his eyes a reflection pool of regret and vulnerability. "It was on my second day in Gusu, after introducing my mother and sister to you and your uncle," he began, recounting the story. "I had spent the entire night in the forest and returned the following morning to discover Gusu Lan's Wall of Rules. During that time, I dared to express a differing opinion about your Clan's rules to your disciples. You admonished me, asking me to refrain from doing so because your disciples had worked hard to adhere to those rules," he confessed. The weight of past regrets was evident in his voice. "I felt truly awful afterward. It's the reason why I feel anxious when conversing with you, fearing that I might inadvertently cause offense once more."

The gentle, moonlit night seemed to intensify the melancholy in Qing Yi's eyes, casting a deeper shade on the profound emotions he carried. The atmosphere conspired to magnify the gravity of his words, as if the very night itself sought to underscore his heartfelt remorse.

Lan Xichen turned his gaze fully toward Qing Yi, the memory of that specific encounter etched deep in his memory. The details resurfaced with crystal clarity. While he couldn't recall ever being upset with Qing Yi previously, he understood that Qing Yi was alluding to that particular incident. Lan Xichen's initial discomfort, arising from a clash of opinions, had swiftly transformed into a deeper understanding when he realized that Qing Yi was merely being authentic, unafraid to voice his true thoughts. However, he couldn't help but observe that Qing Yi had begun to distance himself from that day onward, intentionally avoiding him ever since, marking a subtle shift in their dynamic that had left Lan Xichen contemplating the intricacies of their connection.

"Ah, yes, I remember now," Lan Xichen replied, his expression soft and empathetic as he interpreted Qing Yi's intentions from that time. He spoke with a gentle smile, his voice carrying a comforting tone. "You thought I was upset, so you kept your distance throughout that day and eventually departed for Khufu."

A bittersweet smile graced Qing Yi's lips, and he locked eyes with Lan Xichen under the shimmering moonlight, as if the very night conspired to intensify the depth of his emotions. "I couldn't bear the thought of being in the Cloud Recesses, uncertain of which rules I might unknowingly transgress," Qing Yi confessed. The emerald hue in his eyes deepened, reflecting the melancholy that swelled within him.

His voice, soft and reflective, continued, "I genuinely admire you and your disciples for your unwavering commitment to those rules. However, for someone like me, the constraints felt suffocating enough in the Khufu Palace. I didn't want to feel like I had to hold my breath every time I set foot in the Cloud Recesses. So, it seemed better to stay away." Qing Yi shared his thoughts openly. At this juncture, Qing Yi had made the decision to embrace honesty, regardless of how Lan Xichen might perceive it. Although his feelings for Lan Xichen remained strong, Qing Yi believed he could find a way to move forward, free from the weight of unspoken sentiments.

The sight of Qing Yi, bathed in the moon's soft glow, and his candid words, stirred a gentle swell of emotion within Lan Xichen. He released a soft, knowing chuckle, his eyes alight with understanding as they met Qing Yi's. "I was raised under those rules," he admitted, his voice tender. "But as you've observed, even I haven't managed to adhere to each one flawlessly. I've stumbled myself, as we did tonight. The truth is, it's nearly impossible to follow every rule with absolute precision." Lan Xichen's words carried the resonance of personal experience, a testament to the complexities of living with, and sometimes bending, the rules.